This will be the second blog post that I have written about prostitution in Dickinson, North Dakota. The first blog post that I wrote about prostitution, was written about six weeks ago.
So far, I have written approximately thirty-four blog posts. In about half of them, I mention that there is a shortage of women in Dickinson, North Dakota. There are way more men in Dickinson than women. I think that the ratio of men to women here in Dickinson is probably 3:1.
Since 2011, I have lived in Dickinson for about thirty-two months, almost three years. For about the first year, I did not think that there were any attractive women in Dickinson. I thought that few attractive women were born in Dickinson due to the make up of the local population and the cold weather. I thought that if there were any attractive women born here, they probably moved away right after high school graduation. But for the first year that I was here, I mostly worked on oil field sites outside of town.
When I came back to Dickinson in May of 2013, I worked in town more. When I went to the grocery store during the week, before 5 p.m., I saw some attractive women. I also saw a few attractive women at the West River Community Center during the week, before 5 p.m. It turns out that there were a few attractive women in Dickinson, but they were trying not to be seen out in public when the men got off of work in the evening.
The women that I saw at the grocery store and the West River Community Center before 5 p.m., who were attractive, I got the impression that they wanted to be left alone, that they did not want to be bothered, and that they were trying their best to get home before 5 p.m. I felt sorry for them, they kind of acted like deer. I think that about 80 percent of them must have been married or were in a committed relationship, and that the other 20 percent were just not wanting to mate.
After 5 p.m., you did not see hardly any attractive women in Dickinson. You did not see hardly any attractive women in the bars. From my own personal experience, and from what I saw other men doing, after work, the only attractive women you could talk to in all of Dickinson, were maybe a few bartender women, maybe a few waitresses, and maybe a few convenience store clerks, that was it. There was a bartender girl that I liked, she did not want to talk to me, I told her that I liked her, but she never would talk to me. I think that she liked me a little. In 2011, on some nights this bar would serve about three hundred people, I think that she made about $300 to $400 in tips on those nights. One night, about an hour before closing, a young guy said to her, that he would pay her $500 to have sex with him, he was serious. She said,”It will cost you more than $500 to have sex with me.”, and I think she too was serious.
I nearly got into a lot of trouble going to this bar to see her. One night she made me so mad, that I went outside and turned off the electric power to this bar, and went home. Another night, she was flirting with this guy in front of me and letting him feel her, I had already warned the guy that I really liked her. I waited for him outside, when he went to his truck, I blocked his truck in with my truck, so that he could not leave. He was much bigger than me, and he had two guys with him. He realized that I was very angry, that I had blocked his truck in so that he could not get away, that I probably had a gun, and that I was possibly going to kill him. He never came back, and she never fucked with me again.
I thought about it the following day, and some times after that. I was ready to kill the guy. I had only come to Dickinson to work. Back home, I had a house on five acres, cars, trucks, motorcycles, everything I had ever wanted to have, but I almost lost it all, and would have spent the rest of my life in prison for shooting a guy at bar because he and the bartender girl had disrespected me, and angered me.
I can not explain everything that makes me who I am. I know that I have some things in common with the other construction workers, oil field workers, and truck drivers that have come to Dickinson to work, especially those over forty years of age. It is likely that at some point in our lives, each of us has had successes and failures, good jobs and bad jobs, plenty of money and lack of money, happy homes and broken homes, being in love and being lonely, feeling optimistic and feeling hopeless. We have all had to deal with ups and downs in life, disappointment, and personal tragedies. It is not that I can not deal with difficulties and problems, or handle not getting what I want, I have had to deal with these things many times. But in Dickinson, I had left my home, my friends, and the day-to-day life that I liked. I had left a place that I enjoyed and felt comfortable in, to come to a place that is cold and inhospitable. I had had to deal with the shortage of housing in Dickinson where they wanted $1,500 per month for an old, small one bedroom apartment, that amount of money would rent a nice 3 bedroom/2 bathroom house back home. I was acting as a foreman, getting to the shop early to load all the tools, equipment, and material, hooking up the trailer, going and picking up the DUI and drug probation crew workers around Dickinson, getting the job started, laying out the work, solving problems, pretty much what I had done in the past as a superintendent and project manager, but the local company that I was working for wasn’t paying me as a foreman. I had to deal with local people, co-workers, site contractors, and company owners who were hateful and uncooperative. So every morning that I woke up in Dickinson, I was already dealing with about six or seven adverse life conditions, just by being here. Adding on top of that, working for a shitty company, not being paid very well, not ever seeing any attractive women, being ignored and disrespected by the bartender girl, and being disrespected by some guy, made me angry enough to want to kill the guy.
I went home for several months. Then I went to work in Utah and Texas for a year. I returned to Dickinson in May of 2013. I knew that I should probably stay out of bars in Dickinson, and I did mostly stay out of bars. I had a job as a foreman, it paid O.K. I soon began to enjoy my work. After work, and on the weekends, I could not find any attractive women. I went to Patterson Lake on nice sunny days, and there were no attractive women there. I went to a new upscale bar and restaurant in Dickinson called “Players Club” several times, the bartender men and women were not friendly. I tried to speak to a waitress that I thought was very pretty, and she did not like me talking to her at all. I went to work at a different company that had a very cute and smart girl working there that I liked, she did not want to talk to me.
In my previous blog post about prostitution in Dickinson, I wrote that the first time that I ever had any interest in internet dating sites, was when I came to Dickinson. There was such a shortage of women, I could not find attractive women anywhere. I looked at five different internet dating sites for women within 100 miles of Dickinson, and there were very few attractive women. All of the attractive women had a list of requirements that I did not meet. I looked and looked on the internet dating sites for women in North Dakota, and then I looked at the profiles of women in other states. After I had read the profiles of about several hundred women, I found that they all had a list of requirements that would be hard for me to meet, I thought that they were being unrealistic. In addition to me thinking that the requirements that these women had were unrealistic, and unlikely to be met, I felt that women were fucked up for even getting the idea in their head that you could make such unilateral and inequitable demands from another human being.
Some out-of-state truck drivers told me to go look on the website “Back Page” under escorts. When I looked at the escorts, some were sleazy, some were not. Even if you had to pay $250 per hour for an escort, it was beginning to appear to be a much better idea to pay for a prostitute for company, than to waste any more time trying to find women in Dickinson or on an internet dating site. Also, from the several hundred profiles of women that I had read, I could see that these women would have griped and complained about everything, wasted my time, tried to get everything they could from me, made me feel inadequate, and would have caused me all kinds of problems. The only thing stopping me from hiring an escort was that it was not appealing to me to be with a woman that had already been with several guys that day, and I did not want to get arrested.
In 2014, I began to do work where it was important for me not to get into any kind of trouble, or I would lose my job. I had to stay in Bismarck in a nice business hotel for a couple of weeks. Most of the attractive escorts on the website “Back Page”, were based in Bismarck. I was so tempted. I had a belief that this particular hotel would have absolutely not liked having a prostitute walk through the door, and getting asked to leave this hotel, which was being paid for by my employer, would have caused me to lose my job. I was also aware that police often try to entrap people by creating false advertisements for escorts on the internet.
In my previous blog post about prostitution, I wrote about seeing on the evening news in Dickinson, that the Bismarck police had placed an advertisement for an escort on the internet, and that they had received sixty calls for an appointment. They were only able to arrest sixteen of the callers when they showed up to meet the prostitute because they ran out of time. I was very angry about this. I just got done explaining in this blog post how difficult it was for me to meet women in Dickinson, there was a shortage of women. Women in Dickinson did not want me talking to them. I had gone to a bar many times because I liked the bartender girl, and got so mad that I nearly got into a lot of trouble for turning their electric power off, and for nearly killing a guy. I tried to see if I could find a girl by looking at five different internet dating sites, and there were very few women in this area. The police are so fucking god damn stupid, what the fuck do they think they are doing?
What caused me to write this second blog post about prostitution, was what I heard from a friend of mine this week. My friend is a construction foreman in Williston. The project that he is working on has about one hundred workmen every day. The company that he works for, has had most of their workers working ten hours each day, seven days a week, for the past three months. One unmarried out-of-state worker on this project, looked on the internet for an escort. He arranged to meet her at a restaurant. When he got to the restaurant, it was a set-up, the police were hiding in the bathroom, when he had said enough, the police came out and arrested him. His name was published in the newspaper, but nothing about where he worked. He had to request time off from his company to appear in court, he was fired from his job. I think that this was very unfair. If you are an unmarried out-of-state worker, and you have worked ten hours a day, seven days a week, for the past three months, and you live in Williston or Dickinson where there is a shortage of women, you have not been able to meet women.
Why are you even alive if all you are going to do is get up, get dressed, drive an hour to your job site, work ten hours, drive an hour back home, eat, take a shower, and go to sleep, day after day after day? If you work construction every day like this, you don’t have the time or the energy to do anything after work. One day you stop and get groceries after work, one day you do laundry after work, one day you do dishes and cleaning after work, you are too tired to do much else, and there isn’t time. Well, I guess this guy has some time now, he got fired from his job.