Prairie Business Magazine’s 25 Top Women In Business, The Ones I Would Like To See Naked

Very late last night I saw a Dickinson Press newspaper article titled, “Prairie Business Magazine announces its ’25 Top Women in Business’ for 2020.”  I thought to myself, “Oh yeah, let me see this.”, because I have seen some bullshit, fake, make-believe nominees on this list in the past, from Dickinson.

Once I reviewed this entire list of 25 women, reading the few paragraphs about each woman, I felt relieved to see that there were no obvious women who didn’t belong on this list.  This was a pretty conservative, non-controversial list of women.

However, like 95%-100% of male readers, I was taking note of who was hot, and who was not.  Then, I went back through this list of 25 women nominees, to determine and decide which ones that I would like to see naked, and why.

Before I go any further, here is the link to this article, so that the reader can look these women over too, and either agree or disagree with my picks: https://www.inforum.com/business/4986221-Prairie-Business-Magazine-announces-its-25-Top-Women-in-Business-for-2020

I also want to give a warning and disclaimer, though women can look nice, they can turn on you at any time, they are treacherous and conniving, you can never trust them completely, you can never tell what they are going to do, so I am not saying that having any involvement with any of these women is a good idea.

Starting at the top of the list of the nominee women in the article and proceeding to the bottom, here is my list and explanation of the women that I would like to see naked:  (Photos and biographies copied from Inforum.com)

Reggie MacMaster

Audit Manager

Eide Bailly LLP

Fargo, N.D.

Reggie MacMaster started her career at Eide Bailly as an intern in the audit department in 2011 while finishing the Master of Accountancy program at North Dakota State University. From there, she obtained her CPA license. During her time at Eide Bailly, Reggie has served clients in the not-for-profit and affordable housing industries…..

My opinion is, that Reggie seems like a nice, reserved, attractive young lady, so I will relent, and not require her to take her clothes off, maybe she can just wear a nice Bikini, but now that I think about that, I do want to see more.

 


Jamie Nelson

President

Farmers Security Bank

Washburn, N.D.

Jamie Nelson has served as president and chief executive officer of Farmers Security Bank since 2017. She brings more than 20 years of experience, having started her career in banking and finance two weeks after graduating high school. She worked as a loan officer while going to North Dakota State College of Science in Wahpeton, where she graduated in 2001 with a degree in business…….

My opinion, I can’t help but think, that Jamie would be the most compatible with me in the long term, patient, agreeable, reasonable, reliable, even-tempered, and long suffering.


Jenn Rothschiller

Marketing and Communications Manager

Network Center Inc.

Fargo, N.D.

Jenn Rothschiller is the marketing and communications manager at Network Center, Inc. (NCI). She is responsible for the vision, strategic planning and execution of all marketing activities. Serving on its management team, Jenn has been instrumental in the overall company growth plan…..

My opinion, I am probably least compatible with Jenn, I don’t even think that I would like her or get along with her, therefore, I would like to use Jenn solely to satisfy my lust and desire.  Please send photos.


Sandy Korbel

Senior Financial Advisor

Alerus

Fargo, N.D.

With more than 26 years at Alerus, Sandy Korbel has built a career on understanding and serving the holistic needs of high net-worth clients. She has differentiated herself by the level of professional knowledge demonstrated through her experience as well as continuing education with her CPA and CFP (Certified Financial Planner) designations. She is passionate about helping her clients….

My opinion, I like Sandy, but I don’t think that Sandy would like me.  Good luck trying to get her to take her clothes off.  That is why I studied hypnosis and mesmerizing, I could hypnotize Sandy to believe that she was on her honeymoon with me, her new husband, on her second marriage.


Heather Cymbaluk

Executive Director

Companions for Children

Minot, N.D.

Heather Cymbaluk has served as the executive director of Companions for Children since 2013. She is a graduate of Minot State University with bachelor degrees in both marketing and management information systems. She continued her education at the University of Mary, graduating with a master’s degree in business administration….

My opinion, Heather seems like a nice, friendly, outgoing person.  I would not mind going on a simple date with Heather, but I don’t want to get married.


Karla Santi

Founder and CEO

Blend Interactive

Sioux Falls, S.D.

Karla Santi is a founding partner and CEO of Blend Interactive, a website strategy, design, and development company founded in 2005 in Sioux Falls, S.D. Karla recognized the potential within the web development industry early and began working in web design and development in the 1990s. She owned her own firm, Santi Interactive, before merging with two partners in 2005 to create Blend Interactive. Fifteen years later, Blend has grown into a multi-million dollar company with an international client base….

My opinion, Karla will surprise you, she has many layers.  Possibly the most passionate and enthusiastic partner on this list.


Cindy Elifrits Peterson

Founder & CEO

Maximizing Excellence, LLC

Sioux Falls, S.D.

Cindy Elifrits Peterson, MSW, CFRE, is driven by a passion to make a difference for those she has not yet met. She has dedicated her 20-year career to helping organizations realize their purpose.

In 2010, Cindy founded Maximizing Excellence LLC, a consulting firm that partners with organizations to improve their effectiveness and achieve high impact. She leverages her fundraising tools and methodologies toward more efficient resource development and nonprofit capacity building. Through Cindy’s vision, she and her team have worked with more than 100 organizations, helping them fulfill their mission and multiply their impact…..

My opinion, Cindy seems like a pleasant person to date, but in my  case, I think that she would run off with Chad before too long.


Alison Tendler

Owner, Ophthalmologist

ART Vision

Sioux Falls, S.D.

Dr. Alison R. Tendler is a woman who leads change in her personal and professional life through embodying her motto: See the World Better. See Yourself Better.

Born and raised in South Dakota, she graduated from Dakota Wesleyan University and USD School of Medicine, and became a fellowship trained ophthalmologist. She returned to her hometown of Sioux Falls 14 years ago to practice medicine….

My opinion, because she is a medical Doctor, Alison is probably a know-it-all, and used to getting her own way all the time.  The only way that I could have a pleasant time with Alison, would be if she was my captive.


Jillian Lagasse

VP of Marketing

Capital Credit Union

Bismarck, N.D.

Jillian Lagasse grew up in the small town of Oakes, N.D., and following high school graduated from the University of Mary in Bismarck. Much of her career has been spent as the Marketing Manager at Investment Centers of America in Bismarck. There she helped financial advisors across the county with their marketing, helping them to grow their business and gain more clients. Jillian also obtained her FINRA Series 7 and 66 investment licenses during this time….

My opinion, last but not least, Jillian.  Naughty looking  Jillian was the one who inspired me to write this blog post article in the first place.  I could picture Jillian wearing high heels, and modeling Bikinis and lingerie.

Note:  I don’t care if any of the women mentioned in this article of mine are furious and outraged, this is one of the reasons why I wrote it.  I probably need to say that I don’t plan on kidnapping or abducting any of the women mentioned in this article, because I live in an apartment, and I don’t have anywhere to keep them, unless I rent a farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere.

Also, I don’t think that I can successfully be sued for defamation, libel, or slander because this requires that I make statements of fact that are untrue and defamatory, whereas my statements are opinions, are not defamatory, and are perhaps even complimentary.

How Dickinson Works, And What Is Going To Happen, Part I

When I became an adult, and was living on my own, whatever town or city that I was living in, I tried to figure out what was going on, what was happening, and what were the causes and reasons for what was happening.

Whether it was my hometown, a college town like Gainesville, a city like Tampa, or a mountain destination town like Flagstaff, I took an interest in the nicest, largest homes, the wealthiest neighborhoods, and I wondered who were the people who lived there, what did they do for a living, and how did they make their money?

The people who were able to afford very nice homes, nice automobiles, and enjoyed a high standard of living, I believed that if I could learn some of the things that they had done to become successful, maybe I could copy them or adapt some of the things that they had done, in order to become successful too.

Successful people who won the lottery or inherited a large amount of money from their relatives, you obviously can’t just copy that.  Medical doctors who became wealthy as they got older, most people aren’t able to become a doctor in the first place.  Wealthy real estate brokers, insurance company owners, car dealership owners, manufacturing company owners, and other business owners, these people caused me to wonder how they got started.

When I had the chance to talk to and get to know wealthy, successful business owners, it turned out that their success had a lot to do with being in the right place, at the right time, with the right idea, and a willingness to take risks at that time.  There was some “dumb luck”, or “blind luck”, but these people also had an understanding or belief that their idea would work at that particular time and place, that came from their understanding of what was going on in the World, and the place that they were.

What I am trying to explain, is that if you want to be successful, you first have to understand where you are, what is going on, and what is happening where you are.  You, the reader, are probably thinking that I am pointing out the obvious, thinking, “Of course people try to understand what is happening around them.”  But, no, they don’t, not really.  Most people just get an impression or idea in their head, and that is their conclusion.  They don’t think any further, to test, challenge, examine, or validate their conclusions.

In Dickinson, North Dakota, where I am currently living, most of the people here form their opinion about reality from listening to their neighbors, friends, relatives, local politicians, community leaders, and Chamber of Commerce; from watching television news stations out of Bismarck and Fargo; from reading the Bismarck Tribune or Dickinson Press newspaper; or from what they see on Facebook or hear on the radio.  These sources that I just mentioned are O.K. to get information from, but the impression that local people get from these sources, is their conclusion, they don’t think any further to examine, analyze, test, check, or question their immediate conclusions.

Concerning Dickinson, what the newscasters in Bismarck or Fargo said on the nightly news, what nationwide newscasters said, what local politicians, community leaders, company owners, business managers, and Chamber of Commerce representatives said in newspaper, radio, or television interviews, when their statements didn’t seem to match what was actually happening in Dickinson, I was angry about it, because people in Dickinson formed their understanding of reality and made their life decisions based on incorrect information that was being reported, written, said, and spread.

Questioning what newscasters in Bismarck, Fargo, or New York said about Dickinson, had they ever even been to Dickinson?  It turns out, that most news reporters and writers for television, radio, newspapers, magazines, and journals were getting their information from local politicians, community leaders, company owners, business managers, and Chamber of Commerce representatives, a group of people who can’t or won’t ever say anything other than positive outlook statements.

The following misinformation was reported so often and repeated so often that most of the people in Dickinson still to this day, think that this is reality:  One, “This oil boom is going to last for the next twenty years.” and Two, “Everyone working in the oil field is making $100,000 per year.”

The oil boom in North Dakota lasted from 2007 through 2015.  This oil boom began once the price of oil was over $100 per barrel, it became profitable to extract North Dakota oil through the process of hydraulic fracturing.  Once the price of oil dropped below $50 per barrel in 2015, it was no longer profitable for oil companies to drill and use hydraulic fracturing to produce oil.

The number of operating oil drill rigs in North Dakota went from over 200, to less than 50 currently.  From 2015 through the present, residents in Dickinson still express the belief, “It’s going to come back.” and “It’s starting to pick back up again.”  In the history of the World, there has never been an oil boom that lasted more than ten years in one place, but the people in Dickinson do not believe this reality.

One of the largest oil companies operating in the Dickinson area, is Whiting Petroleum.  The stock price of Whiting Petroleum reached an all-time high of $370 per share in 2014.  Last week, Whiting Petroleum stock was trading at $1.28 per share.  In the past year, Whiting Petroleum laid off one-third of its workforce in order to cut costs.

Many people in Dickinson have believed for years that, “Everyone working in the oil field is making $100,000 per year.”  This has never been true, and it certainly is not true now.  This belief, and the belief that “It’s starting to pick back up again” has misguided many of the people in Dickinson, causing them to make bad life decisions.

Instead of realizing that the oil boom in North Dakota was a once-in-a-lifetime, short-lived deal, most of the people in Dickinson acted like there was no end to it.  The sudden dramatic increase in local business, the sudden increase in demand for goods, services, and housing, allowed many local people to make windfall money, especially land owners and people who owned the mineral rights on land.

What did the local people in Dickinson do with their windfall money?  Most of them purchased the most expensive, over-priced, top-of-the-line pickup truck, travel trailer, UTV, toy hauler, or snow mobile.  Now, looking back on these purchases made in 2008-2014, roughly ten years later, all of these things are worth less than half of what they originally cost, and they are continuing to decline in value until they are nearly worthless.

Had the people in Dickinson known the truth, that this North Dakota oil boom would last from 2007-2015, they may not have spent their windfall money so carelessly and frivolously, and instead saved and invested their money so that it would last them for the remainder of their lives.

Another thing that happened in Dickinson during the oil boom, the housing prices doubled, then quadrupled.  A house in Dickinson that might have sold for $75,000 in 2006, the asking price in 2012-2014 might have been $300,000.  Some local people, and some out-of-state workers, bought houses in Dickinson at the peak of the oil boom real estate market.  They did this, because they believed that the oil boom would continue, they had better buy a house now, the house prices would only continue to increase.

Now that the oil boom is over in Dickinson, a house that was purchased for $300,000 in 2012-2014, it might only sell for $200,000 now, or it might not even sell at $150,000.  Most of the people in Dickinson are not making very much money now, many people have left Dickinson, and many people have job uncertainty.

Everyone in Dickinson needs to start over on assessing what reality is in Dickinson, what is going on, what is happening, what are the reasons and causes for what is happening.  In my next blog post, Part II, I will start with the basic essential businesses, services, and employees in Dickinson, that which everything else is built upon, so that people can see and understand what is happening, and what is going to happen.

Makeup Tips For Getting Hired To Work On An Oil Drill Rig

One of the most selective and difficult jobs to get in the oil field is working directly on an oil drill rig.  These jobs typically require standing on your feet for a 12-hour shift, for two weeks straight, followed by one week off-duty.

Typically at oil drilling company offices, the administrative lobby area will have a two way mirror which is reflective on one side, and transparent through the other side.  When an applicant walks in the door, a company administrator is looking at the applicant from the back side of the mirror without their knowledge, judging their health and physical fitness.

Oil companies know from experience that only youthful, healthy, physically fit individuals with no physical defects will be able to handle the long hours of physical work, standing on a drill rig platform, or carrying things up and down the stairs or derrick.

One of the biggest signs of physical health, is physical beauty, the two go together.  Therefore, the oil drilling companies are looking for the most healthy/beautiful applicants.  Also, the driller and rig boss don’t want to have to look at ugly people for twelve hours per day, two weeks straight, for months at a time.

Here is a video showing some makeup tips that will help you get hired and keep your job on an oil drill rig:

What Happened To Erik Odegaard Is A Tragedy That Is Everyone’s Fault

What happened to Erik Odegaard in Dickinson, North Dakota is a tragedy that is everyone’s fault.  It was bound to happen to someone, and this same thing is going to keep happening in Dickinson unless something is done to prevent it.

For a long time, ever since the first homesteaders came to Dickinson in the late 1800s, attractive women will not come here, they will not stay here, and the attractive girls who are born here, leave as soon as they are able.

It probably has to do with Dickinson being poor, hard, barren, desolate, cold, bleak, inhospitable, ignorant, and uneducated that makes attractive women want to leave Dickinson and go elsewhere, or never come here in the first place.

The result, the only women who will stay in Dickinson are unattractive and mean.  With no other choice, low standards, no standards, and low expectations in life, the men in this area went ahead and had sex with these ugly, mean women, and their offspring were even uglier and meaner.  If by chance there was ever an attractive girl who was born here, she got out of here as soon as possible.

Dickinson has by far the ugliest women of anywhere that I have ever been.  The women here are unattractive, overweight, disfigured, sloven, mean, scowling, glaring, sneering, and leering.  This is mostly a result of poor breeding and genetics, but the environment, culture, and education here has a lot to do with the ugliness of the women.

For example, in most states, the owner of a bar or restaurant would not seek out the ugliest, meanest, nastiest women to be a bartender or waitress.  In other states, when an employer does hire an ugly, overweight, mean, nasty woman, she is required to stay in the back of the business, and stay out of sight of the customers.  But in Dickinson, fat, ugly, mean, sneering ogre women work as bartenders and waitresses, at the front of the house, probably because that’s the only women that they can get in Dickinson.

In Dickinson, women from wealthy families who have the advantage of access to good healthcare, good food, education, travel, and more exposure to culture, ….  there aren’t any women like this in Dickinson.  Women from middle-class families in Dickinson, who have access to healthcare, food, education, and beauty products, ….there are very few of these women in Dickinson.

The Skank-class of women in Dickinson, women who grew up in single-parent households, with not a lot of food, not a lot of clothes, no encouragement in school, and low expectations in life,…..there are not even very many of these Skank women in Dickinson, they get up and leave, or won’t come to Dickinson in the first place.

The women who are here in Dickinson, are the battle-axe, ogre, troll, ham-fisted, hog-head, no-neck, cankle-calf, overweight, mean, hostile, glaring, sneering, leering, scowling, disfigured women.

Erik Odegaard grew up in Dickinson, the son of a fairly normal mother and father who both worked.  Erik was a nice looking young man, who was polite, courteous, helpful, and respectful.  Erik was well-liked by his classmates, peers, teachers, adults, and employers because of his good behavior and positive attitude.

After graduating from high school in Dickinson, Erik joined the U.S. Army, and he later became an Army Medic.  After his enlistment was over, or transferring to the Army Reserves, Erik returned to Dickinson.

Upon arriving back in Dickinson, now at the age of 20 years, Erik found that many of his high school classmates had left Dickinson.  Especially, most of the nice looking, attractive, pleasant young women from high school had left Dickinson and moved far away to places like Denver, Billings, and Miami.

There is very little to do in Dickinson, and Erik became lonely, especially because the nice looking, attractive young women who graduated from high school had moved away.  Out and about in Dickinson, there were no nice young women, only the most wretched, disgusting, nasty, mean, troll-ogre, disfigured women.

Normally, in most towns, a lonely young man would soon find a nice Skank girl, working in a restaurant, bank, or hair salon, who would gladly go on dates with such a nice young man, recently out of the military like Erik.  But in Dickinson, there aren’t even any Skank women.

The only pleasant, feminine, attractive young girl that Erik could find for companionship, was still in high school.  For the whole history of mankind, twenty year old men have been in romantic relationships or marriage with teen-aged girls, but the evil people in Dickinson wanted to persecute Erik for this, and so they did.

Erik, who was such a nice looking, helpful, courteous, respectful, positive, well-liked, promising young man, has just been convicted of a Class A Felony, and sentenced to spend the next 2-1/2 years in prison.

This is everyone’s fault in Dickinson.  For over a hundred years, the people in Dickinson have been breeding and in-breeding, the ugliest women imaginable, to produce these hairy-faced Heidi Heitkamp looking things, which nobody in their right mind would touch with even a ten-foot pole.

Everyone here knows that the attractive girls leave here right after they get out of high school, they won’t come back, and no attractive women will come here.  There is a shortage of women in Dickinson, and a scarcity of attractive women.

How this is handled in other parts of the World, when there is a scarcity of women, is with prostitution, such as EscortOfItaly.com, which operates in Rome, Milan, Florence, and Bologna.  Here is a link to the women available http://www.escortofitaly.com/Milan/Gallery

However, in Dickinson, where there is a great shortage of women, prostitution is not allowed.  The ratio of men to women in Dickinson is 3:1, the women who are here, are overweight, disfigured, and grotesque, and prostitution is not allowed.  So what the people in Dickinson are doing, is deliberately setting a trap, because they are sinister, malevolent, and evil.

There was a poor, small young man from Nepal, who came to Dickinson to work and go to school.  This young man named Manish, he worked in convenience stores, and as a cook, while he attended Dickinson State University to study accounting.  Finally, after years of hard work, struggle, and sacrifice, Manish graduated from DSU with a degree in accounting.

Life changed for the better for Manish, soon he became employed at a reputable, well-known local business as an accountant.  But like young men do, Manish become lonely for company.  Being small, being from a foreign country, and there being a great shortage of women in Dickinson, Manish had difficulty meeting any women.  Finally, Manish met a woman on the internet in Dickinson.

But unbeknownst to Manish, the woman that he met on the internet, she did not exist, she was made up by the Dickinson Police, in an elaborate trap that they had set up.  Soon, the Dickinson Police sprung their trap on Manish, and they tried to frame him for a twenty year prison sentence.  The same kind of twenty year prison sentence that Erik Odegaard was faced with.

Manish, instead of finding companionship, he was forced to spend probably $10,000 for an attorney, in order to not go to prison for twenty years.  The same thing for Erik, Erik was forced to spend probably $10,000 or more for an attorney, in order to not go to prison for twenty years.

The cost to tax payers to prosecute and incarcerate Erik Odegaard for 2-1/2 years is approximately $120,000.   The cost of one of these prostitutes shown here, http://www.escortofitaly.com/Milan/Gallery, is only $250 per hour.  The State of North Dakota could have paid for 480 hours of prostitutes, and not made Erik a Felon.

The people in Dickinson have bred these hideous monsters that are good for nothing, these disfigured disgusting terrible beasts, that make it impossible to go out to bars and restaurants in Dickinson, and then when normal young men try to find a mate, these same sick evil people in Dickinson try to lay different kinds of traps leading to twenty years in prison.

This whole thing is very little Erik’s fault, the people in Dickinson set this up, this was bound to happen to someone.

Someone Men And Women In Dickinson Can Learn From

This winter in Dickinson I have been more depressed than ever before in my life.  I can’t believe I’m here, living like this, it’s so barren, bleak, and hopeless.  Dickinson is so ugly, it’s ugly through and through.

Here is someone that the men and women in Dickinson can learn from:

The nice looking, polished, well-spoken woman in the video shown above, is not actually a woman, she is a man, named John Maclean.  John Maclean is a professional makeup artist.  Part of the point of John dressing, looking, and acting like a woman, is because he likes to be a woman, but he is also pointing out that if he can look like and act like an attractive, desirable woman, if women made the effort, they could be attractive and desirable as well.

I am trying to point out, if John Maclean, who is a man, can diet, take care of his hair, apply makeup carefully, and practice how he speaks and acts, if he can be an attractive woman, then fat, lazy, pig women can get off their ass and pull themselves together so that they aren’t so repulsive.

Some women can see and learn from John how to apply makeup more effectively and professionally.

I Finally Heard Enough About Single Mothers

This winter in North Dakota I have been staying inside and watching a lot of YouTube videos for entertainment.  Some of my favorite YouTubers are Hammerhand, Terrence Popp, and occasionally Prepper Princess.

Hammerhand tells a few stories from his childhood, but mostly he talks about his current situation battling his ex-wife over child support and child custody.  Terrence Popp tells stories from throughout his life, including his childhood, military career, and divorce from his ex-wife.  Prepper Princess usually ends up talking about her mother, how she was raised, and how she inherited her home which she is now selling for $720K.

I have heard Hammerhand talk about how his mother was single, and how he and his brother grew up poor.  I have heard Terrence Popp talk about how his mother was single, and how he and his sister grew up poor.  And today, Prepper Princess was going on and on about how poor she was growing up with a single mom.

I really had enough of hearing how poor Prepper Princess was growing up, and the context of it, her mother was single and she didn’t make enough money to provide food, clothing, heat, or any recreational activities for her family.

A little from Hammerhand, a little from Terrence Popp, and a lot from Prepper Princess, I get the impression that they feel that they are worthy of some sympathy for how they grew up.  A little from Hammerhand, a little from Terrence Popp, and a lot from Prepper Princess, it’s like they feel that everyone else is responsible for how they grew up, and that their mother is blameless.

A person who was my best friend for about twenty years, Doug, his mother left his father when he was about five years old, and his little brother was three years old.  I listened to Doug re-tell about the landlord coming to collect the rent and they didn’t have it, having nothing to eat but eggs sometimes, not being able to play sports in school because his mother wouldn’t pay for it, and his grandfather coming to live with them in order to help out.

My friend Doug, he had anger and resentment towards his classmates in school, towards other kids in the neighborhood, towards his relatives, anyone who had both a mom and a dad, and a normal life with birthday parties, presents for Christmas, family cook outs, and family vacations.  These other people had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Doug’s mother left her husband, and that she didn’t make enough money to provide hardly anything for Doug and his brother.

In response to Prepper Princess’s YouTube video today, most of the commentors were talking about how poor they were growing up, how they had a single mom, and how they had seven or nine brothers and sisters.  I had enough, I got sick of hearing it, I couldn’t believe it.  Why the fuck did your stupid bitch mother have seven to nine children and she couldn’t support them?  Why the fuck is this everyone else’s fault that you grew up poor and not your mother’s fault?

Prepper Princess and her commentors talking about having only one tomato and one onion in the refrigerator to eat, only having one meal per day that they got in school as free lunch, getting spoiled food from the food bank, being cold and not being able to turn on the heat, the fact that you were miserable and had a fucked up childhood is not heroic, commendable, or admirable, and it was not other people’s fault, it was solely your mother’s fault.

Men Only Barber Shop In Dickinson, North Dakota

When I first came to Dickinson, North Dakota in 2011, I got my hair cut once with “Ted the Barber”, Ted Kostelecky, when he was still charging $5 per haircut.  When I came back to Dickinson in 2013, I began getting my hair cut with “Ted the Barber” again, and then he began charging $8 per haircut.

I noticed that when Ted Kostelecky cut my hair, it seemed like if another customer got him talking, Ted would forget what he was doing, and keep cutting, and cutting, and cutting, even though I had told Ted that I just wanted 1/4″ to 1/2″ cut off the length, just a trim.

In 2015 I began getting my hair cut with Matt Ellerkamp and Paul Ellerkamp at the “Big Sky Barber Shop” on the north side of Dickinson.  Matt and Paul were so fully booked with appointments, that you could just about never get a “walk-in” hair cut, you had to make an appointment.

Matt and Paul at the Big Sky Barber Shop were good barbers, but sometimes I wanted to get a haircut without making plans in advance.  When I went to the “Queen City Barber Shop” in downtown Dickinson, there was never, ever anyone waiting for a haircut, and I kind of learned why.

When Luke Simons opened the “Gentlemen’s Barber Shop” on the north side of Dickinson in 2018, I was wary of getting my hair cut by Luke, because I didn’t know that he had been a barber before.  To my surprise, Luke turned out to be a better barber than Matt Ellerkamp and Paul Ellerkamp who had owned the Big Sky Barber Shop.

Unfortunately for me, beginning in 2019, more, and more, and more women began taking their children to the Gentlemen’s Barber Shop.  In my entire 50 year life, I had never seen so many women and children in a barber shop, as in Luke Simons’ Gentlemen’s Barber Shop.

I can finally put it into words now, what I think many of these women were doing by going to the Gentlemen’s Barber Shop, there is actually a term for it, it’s called “Monkey Branching”.  Monkey Branching is when women who are married or are in a relationship with a man, go in search of a higher or more stable income earner, and attempt to “Monkey Branch” to a new man.

“Gentlemen’s Barber Shop” is a misnomer now, it should be called “Luke Simons’ Family Fun Center”, or “Luke Simons’ Women’s Monkey Branching Shop”.  Again, I have never seen so many women and children in barber shop in my life.

I had tried going to Matt and Paul Ellerkamp’s new barber shop, “De Porres House of Barbering”, but a more fitting name for this would be “The Catholic Shop” or the “The Catholic Club”, and I never even got my hair cut there or will ever go back there.

A couple of months ago, I found a barber shop where there are no women and children, just a man cutting hair, paying attention to what he is doing, and not charging a lot of money.  Too bad I can’t tell anyone, lest it get ruined by some whore trying to drag her kids there.

Here is a video explaining my thoughts about this, so that I don’t have to:

 

If there was a strip bar in Dickinson, I could picture some housewives coming there with their children, and giving their kids $1 bills to stuff in the strippers’ thongs, because men liked to go there to get away from their wives and children.