Reasons Why I Can’t, Couldn’t, Wouldn’t Marry Codi, Kit, Marinna, Or Kristi, In Dickinson, North Dakota

For the first two years that I lived in Dickinson, North Dakota, I complained that there was a shortage of women, and a lack of attractive women in Dickinson, North Dakota.  For the first time in my life, I began to look at internet dating sites.  Looking at five different internet dating sites, there were still very few attractive women in Dickinson.  I believed that there were many things wrong in Dickinson.  The residents here were producing ugly children, and no attractive or normal women would move here.

After about two years of living in Dickinson, I went to a grocery store before 5 p.m. during the week, and I saw a few attractive women, which made me suspicious.  Then, there was a Chile cook-off at the Astoria Hotel that I went to, and there were many different kinds of attractive women there.  There were attractive women at the downtown summer street parties.  I looked up some of the pretty girls that I had met downtown on Facebook, and they all had pretty girl friends.  So, I found out that there are attractive women in Dickinson, but they do hide most of the time.

This year I wrote about some of the women that I like in Dickinson, Codi, Kit, Marinna, and Kristi.  I also wrote about a very beautiful housewife that I met, and some beautiful Bohemian women and girls that I met.  With the exception of one 32 year old Bohemian woman with two kids who didn’t tell me that she was married, and one other exception, I did not try to pursue a relationship with any of these women that I liked, because I liked them and did not want to make them unhappy.

I did not want to make them unhappy, because then I would be unhappy.  It would be very sad for any one of these women to like me, to trust me, to believe in me, and to try to have a life with me, and me let them down.

For all of these women, their beauty, attractiveness, and health would allow them to marry a man that was much more successful than me.  I don’t want to keep them from having a nice home, nice car, nice clothes, not having to work, being able to travel, and being able to have kids who won’t go without anything.  I could not stand knowing that I ruined everything for them.

The only women that I would be comfortable dating, would be women that already had their life ruined.  A single mom with two kids said to me once, “I’m just looking for a guy who has a job, and can fix shit.”  This woman already had a courtship with the man she thought was “the one”, a wedding, honeymoon, first child, second child, many problems, a divorce, and the difficulties of raising children alone.  She was looking for someone that she liked, that she could trust, that would help her, and make her life easier.  She no longer was expecting a man to provide her with a nice home, nice car, travel, and not having to work.

Another way to say this is, I just can’t handle women putting all of their expectations on me.  Not entirely because of the fear of failing, but the understanding of the reality that I will likely never be able to provide as much as I would have wanted to.

Unfortunately, the reality is, that most of the men that will pursue these women that I like, will not be any wealthier or any more successful than me, and the thought of ruining these women’s lives is not something they concern themselves with, only the goal of obtaining these women for themselves.


One thought on “Reasons Why I Can’t, Couldn’t, Wouldn’t Marry Codi, Kit, Marinna, Or Kristi, In Dickinson, North Dakota

  1. You’re a good man. This is one of the most honest blogs I’ve ever read. I hope some might gain some wisdom from this. Very unselfish of you to write this as you have. Good on you.


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