Tag Archives: how to be a lady in Belfield North Dakota

How Women In Dickinson Can Behave Like Southern Ladies, Part 4 of 4

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This will be the last part for the time being.  There is a lot more to cover, but it would take a big book to include everything, and I don’t want to entirely devote this blog to this subject.  Parts 1, 2, 3, & 4 cover what I think are some of the most important things.

6.  Do Not Look Like A Slob In Public.  Try to take a shower, comb your hair, and put on clean normal clothes before you leave your home.  You might think that it is cute when you wear pajama pants and slippers to go to the store, but actually, people think that your family must be so trashy that you don’t even know any better.  You might think that you are cute when you go to the King Buffet or the Pizza Ranch in your pajama pants and slippers, but other people at the restaurant see you and think, “You must have gotten your welfare assistance payment today, that is why you are out to eat in your pajamas.”

The big problem is, women get in the habit of always wearing sweat pants or pajama pants, an over size worn t-shirt, an over size worn hoodie sweatshirt, and they live the rest of their life dressing this way.  They say to themselves, “I am just going to the post office, I am just going to the bank, I am just going to the car dealer to drop off my car.”  Do the women who work at the bank or at the car dealer dress this way?  No, the women who work at the bank and at the car dealer don’t dress this way because it is not allowed, they would look like a slob.  You look like a slob.

7.  Do Not Act Like A Slob In Public.  When you are out with your family, do not act like a troop of baboons, yelling, screeching, grabbing things, picking at yourselves, oblivious to the human beings around you.

8.  Do Not Become Over Intoxicated In Public.  No, people will not forget the things that you said and the things that you did when you were drunk.  They will not think that it was just the alcohol, they will think that that is how you really are, and it just finally came out.

How Women In Dickinson Can Behave Like Southern Ladies Part 3 of 4

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Please read Part 1 and Part 2 in my previous two blog posts where I explained Rules 1 through 4.  Many women in Dickinson already know these rules, however many do not.

5.  Do Not Fight In Public.  I mean do not engage in a physical fight in public.  In a stressful situation, if you can not stand there with your arms crossed, then you need to leave.  If you are being put under too much stress, you should probably leave anyway.  You do not have to stand there and let someone insult you, curse at you, or threaten you, ..leave.  You should always try to avoid situations where people will mistreat you, however if you find yourself in a situation where you are being mistreated, …leave.  I will give some examples below.

If your boyfriend is being disrespectful or insulting, …leave.

If your husband is being abusive, disrespectful, or insulting, …leave.

If a co-worker is being abusive or threatening, you should probably leave.

If an employer is being abusive or threatening, you should leave.

In the examples that I gave above, you need to let people know that you will not tolerate mistreatment or abuse, and though they may be using bad language, vulgarity, and making threats, you aren’t going to behave like that.  In your personal relationships, you can disassociate yourself from anyone that is disrespectful and abusive, but you should also do this in your professional life, and I will explain why

If an employer ever tries to mistreat you, they will likely never stop.  The first time that an employer does something abusive, understand that this is what they are like, and that this will continue.  There are laws now about “hostile work environment”, but you should just leave first, and not come back.

You might be thinking, “This is easy for you to say, but how am I going to pay my bills?”  When you are a young single woman, you can’t spend all the money that you make.  It is very, very important that you save money, and have quite a bit of money saved up.  You need to not get the most expensive apartment, most expensive furniture, most expensive car, and most expensive clothes that you can buy.  You need to save money and have money saved up so that you will not be at the mercy of other people, or dependent on other people, and can just leave any abusive, threatening, or coercive situation.

Again, a lady should not engage in a physical fight.  But this does not mean that you have to do nothing when people are threatening and abusive to you.  In some cases, it may be appropriate to have a boyfriend, husband, or father inform someone that they had better not mistreat you.  In some cases you may have to explain yourself to an administrator or a manager in order to report and stop abuse.  In some cases you may need a lawyer.  In some cases you may be better off to just never deal with some people again.

How Women In Dickinson Can Behave Like Southern Ladies, Part 1 of 4

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A reader named “Cheryl”, a.k.a. ndgirlone, recently wrote a comment to my blog post “Women In Dickinson, North Dakota”.  I answered some of Cheryl’s questions in my previous post about how I date women in Dickinson.  Cheryl’s comments reminded me that I had intended to write about how women in Dickinson can behave like Southern Ladies.

There are women in Dickinson who already know the things that I will write, but there are many women who don’t know.  In particular the single women from out of state who have come to work in western North Dakota are quite lost in how to behave appropriately.  If they follow my advice, they will be able to improve their situation in life.

  1.   A lady must not use bad language.  Any person who hears a woman use bad language will probably assume that she is trashy and low class.  I will explain later the disadvantages of being thought of as trashy and low class.
  2.   A lady must withdraw and not participate in any situation where bad language is being used.  Any person who observes a woman in the company of others who are using bad language will probably assume that she is trashy and low class.
  3.   A lady must withdraw from any situation where people are behaving inappropriately, crudely, or with vulgarity.  Again, any person who observes a woman in the company of others who are behaving inappropriately will probably assume that she is trashy and low class.

For now, I will just explain the three statements that I made above.  Consider in your mind a young man who is going to medical school to become a doctor, who comes from a wealthy family.  If you were dating this young man, and he took you home to meet his parents, would you be using the words “fuck”, “asshole”, and “shit” around his parents?  You probably would not, unless you wanted to end this relationship quickly.  You would not because you don’t want to appear trashy and low class.  The reason that you might not want to lose your relationship with this young man is because as a husband, he could provide you with a nice home, nice vehicle, and easily pay for your children.  So you see that there is an advantage to not acting trashy and low class.

What you might not be aware of, is that there is opportunity around you every minute of every day.  When you get up in the morning, wear pajama pants and slippers, with your hair looking like a bird’s nest, get in your car to go to a convenience store to get coffee, and maybe say to the cashier, “Fuck, I forgot my wallet, it’s in my car, let me go get it.”  Did you know that the old farmer behind you or sitting at a table has just noticed what a mess you are?  Many of the old farmers in Dickinson are way past being millionaires, they are old, and they have sons.  You had better believe that these old millionaires have a say in what their sons do.  If their son dated a trashy girl like you, it would be against their wishes.  For his son’s sake, he would be told that he was going to receive very little from his father, in order to protect him from this trashy girl he is involved with.

On the other hand, if you were a young lady that had a job as a waitress in a diner in Dickinson, and you were always polite and positive, you might be getting asked questions from old farmers like, “Where are you from?  Are you going to school?”  They are not getting ready to ask you out, but they might think that you are a nice girl and they would like to introduce you to their son, grandson, or nephew.  Yes, yes, old farmers ask trashy waitresses what their name is and where they are from too, but they will be using this information to make damn sure that their son never gets involved with you if they can help it.

These examples that I just gave involved dating and marriage.  However, appearing trashy and low class will adversely affect everything in your life.  You might not even be aware that employment, promotions, educational opportunities, and housing are being given to someone else instead of you because you acted so trashy and low class.

Please go back and re-read the numbered points #1, #2, and #3 above.  You will also have to begin excusing yourself from the company of others who are using bad language, acting crudely, or acting with vulgarity.  If others see you with people like this, they will assume that you are the same as them.  There is the expression, “Birds of a feather, flock together.”  In order to not be in the company of people who use bad language and behave badly, you may no longer be able to go to some bars where everyone uses bad language and behaves badly.  Also, you may have to begin leaving bars and parties by 10:00 p.m., before people are over intoxicated and begin behaving badly.

There are many wives and single professional women who will never, ever, go to some of the bars in Dickinson because many of the patrons become over intoxicated and will act inappropriately.  These women will not tolerate bad, crude, vulgar language, or people putting their hands on them.  These women will also leave parties before people become over intoxicated.  This is what they have to do in order to maintain a reputation as being a lady.