A reader named “Cheryl”, a.k.a. ndgirlone, recently wrote a comment to my blog post “Women In Dickinson, North Dakota”.  I answered some of Cheryl’s questions in my previous post about how I date women in Dickinson.  Cheryl’s comments reminded me that I had intended to write about how women in Dickinson can behave like Southern Ladies.

There are women in Dickinson who already know the things that I will write, but there are many women who don’t know.  In particular the single women from out of state who have come to work in western North Dakota are quite lost in how to behave appropriately.  If they follow my advice, they will be able to improve their situation in life.

1.   A lady must not use bad language.  Any person who hears a woman use bad language will probably assume that she is trashy and low class.  I will explain later the disadvantages of being thought of as trashy and low class.
2.   A lady must withdraw and not participate in any situation where bad language is being used.  Any person who observes a woman in the company of others who are using bad language will probably assume that she is trashy and low class.
3.   A lady must withdraw from any situation where people are behaving inappropriately, crudely, or with vulgarity.  Again, any person who observes a woman in the company of others who are behaving inappropriately will probably assume that she is trashy and low class.

For now, I will just explain the three statements that I made above.  Consider in your mind a young man who is going to medical school to become a doctor, who comes from a wealthy family.  If you were dating this young man, and he took you home to meet his parents, would you be using the words “fuck”, “asshole”, and “shit” around his parents?  You probably would not, unless you wanted to end this relationship quickly.  You would not because you don’t want to appear trashy and low class.  The reason that you might not want to lose your relationship with this young man is because as a husband, he could provide you with a nice home, nice vehicle, and easily pay for your children.  So you see that there is an advantage to not acting trashy and low class.

What you might not be aware of, is that there is opportunity around you every minute of every day.  When you get up in the morning, wear pajama pants and slippers, with your hair looking like a bird’s nest, get in your car to go to a convenience store to get coffee, and maybe say to the cashier, “Fuck, I forgot my wallet, it’s in my car, let me go get it.”  Did you know that the old farmer behind you or sitting at a table has just noticed what a mess you are?  Many of the old farmers in Dickinson are way past being millionaires, they are old, and they have sons.  You had better believe that these old millionaires have a say in what their sons do.  If their son dated a trashy girl like you, it would be against their wishes.  For his son’s sake, he would be told that he was going to receive very little from his father, in order to protect him from this trashy girl he is involved with.

On the other hand, if you were a young lady that had a job as a waitress in a diner in Dickinson, and you were always polite and positive, you might be getting asked questions from old farmers like, “Where are you from?  Are you going to school?”  They are not getting ready to ask you out, but they might think that you are a nice girl and they would like to introduce you to their son, grandson, or nephew.  Yes, yes, old farmers ask trashy waitresses what their name is and where they are from too, but they will be using this information to make damn sure that their son never gets involved with you if they can help it.

These examples that I just gave involved dating and marriage.  However, appearing trashy and low class will adversely affect everything in your life.  You might not even be aware that employment, promotions, educational opportunities, and housing are being given to someone else instead of you because you acted so trashy and low class.

Please go back and re-read the numbered points #1, #2, and #3 above.  You will also have to begin excusing yourself from the company of others who are using bad language, acting crudely, or acting with vulgarity.  If others see you with people like this, they will assume that you are the same as them.  There is the expression, “Birds of a feather, flock together.”  In order to not be in the company of people who use bad language and behave badly, you may no longer be able to go to some bars where everyone uses bad language and behaves badly.  Also, you may have to begin leaving bars and parties by 10:00 p.m., before people are over intoxicated and begin behaving badly.

There are many wives and single professional women who will never, ever, go to some of the bars in Dickinson because many of the patrons become over intoxicated and will act inappropriately.  These women will not tolerate bad, crude, vulgar language, or people putting their hands on them.  These women will also leave parties before people become over intoxicated.  This is what they have to do in order to maintain a reputation as being a lady.