A week ago I wrote a blog post article titled, “The Best Restaurant In Dickinson, North Dakota Is A Secret”.  In that article, I wrote about how good the food was in this restaurant, and that there weren’t any dirt-bag construction workers, oil field trash, no-good scum of the Earth meth addict women from Seattle, and other badly behaving people in this restaurant.

In this blog post, rather than express my frustration and disapproval by being mean and going on a rant, I will try to offer some suggestions about how people in Dickinson can act and appear respectable, and not low-class and trashy.

I stopped and thought about it, many people in Dickinson don’t know, they literally do not know that there is anything wrong or abnormal about their behavior, so it might be helpful for me to explain what not to do, and what they can do to act respectable:

What Not To Do:

1. If you have been working for more than several hours doing physical labor where you have become dirty, hot, and sweaty, don’t go out to eat at a nice restaurant without taking a shower and putting on clean clothes.
2. If you have not had a shower or changed clothes for more than 24 hours, don’t go out to eat at a nice restaurant without taking a shower and putting on clean clothes.
3. If you, and the clothes that you have been wearing, have been sitting in a vehicle or inside all day around people smoking cigarettes, do not go out to eat a nice restaurant without taking a shower and putting on clean clothes.
4. Do not wear dirty or smelly clothing to a nice restaurant.
5. At a nice restaurant, or any public place, do not spit into a receptacle and carry this receptacle around or place it anywhere, especially not on top of a dining table.
6. Do not speak so loudly that other people can hear you more than ten feet away when entering or dining in a nice restaurant.
7. Do not discuss anything crude, gross, or inappropriate when dining in a nice restaurant.
8. Do not use bad or offensive language, derogatory terms, or racial slurs when dining in a nice restaurant.
9. Do not try to instigate a fight, threaten, or insult other people when dining in a nice restaurant.
10. Do not shove, push, slap, hit, or wrestle with people in a nice restaurant, not even friends or family members.
11. Do not throw things or do property damage when in a nice restaurant, not even in the parking lot.
12. Do not stick your fingers inside of your mouth, your nose, your ears, or your pants when dining in a nice restaurant.
13. Do not rev your truck engine and spin your tires in the parking lot of a nice restaurant.
14. Do not leave your diesel truck idling in the parking lot of a nice restaurant, no one wants to listen to that noise, or smell that diesel exhaust.

What To Do:

1. Bathe regularly, always use soap and shampoo.
2. Wear a moderate amount of deodorant after bathing.
3. Wash your clothes regularly, and make it a habit to wear clean clothes.
4. Clean and trim your finger nails so that they are clean and nice looking.
5. Wash your hands so that they are clean.
6. Brush your teeth with toothpaste at least once per day.
7. Clean your ears regularly.
8. Get your hair cut at least once every three months.
9. Trim your beard or facial hair at least once every two weeks.
10. Try not to use swear words in conversation.

In many societies, it is the women who try to encourage and enforce good manners, but something long ago went wrong in Dickinson.  I think that due to the barrenness and extreme cold in North Dakota, it was so hard to survive, that the women here just gave up on encouraging and enforcing good manners.

Now that there are modern conveniences like automobiles, indoor plumbing, electricity, hot running water, and washing machines, I think that the women in Dickinson need to start trying to encourage good hygiene and good manners.

To be fair, I should point out that at least half of the badly behaving people in Dickinson are construction workers, oil field workers, and meth addict women from out-of-state.