Having a young attractive girlfriend in Watford City is like having a monkey, because everybody wants to come and look at it.

When I was about 11 years old, riding my bicycle, some chubby kid coming the other way on the sidewalk said, “Hey, they got a monkey over there, they got a monkey.” I asked where is this?  And the chubby kid said right down there at the house on the corner.  I rode down there, and there was no monkey, but there was a wooden crate up in a tree, and a long leash tied to one of the tree branches.

I rode about six blocks home to my neighborhood, and talked to the neighbor kids about the alleged monkey.  One of the kid’s older brothers had seen it.  Nobody told me.  Anyway, the owner would let it out from time to time, but not for very long because it would attract too many kids.  The kids would get all excited and start yelling, and the monkey would get all exited, jumpy, and upset, which he didn’t want.  Everybody asked where did he get it, how much did it cost, and how can I get one.

The same thing happens to guys in Watford City that have young attractive girlfriends, everybody wants to come and look at it, wanting to know where they got it, and how much did it cost.  I usually go and look at their girlfriends when they leave them sitting in the truck.  One of my neighbors has to drive fast past me because I always try to look at his girlfriend.

This is not a bad idea, because I do talk to some people’s girlfriends when they aren’t at home.  One very attractive 21 year old girlfriend does talk to me about three times a week before her boyfriend gets home from work, because she refuses to live like some guy’s monkey.  She wants to go outside in Watford City, and do things, and go places like everybody else.  She knows that everybody looks at her, but she is not going to let this keep her from going outside.

The last place she lived, somebody broke into her apartment, went through all of her stuff, and the only thing that they took, was all of her underwear.  She was mad that she didn’t have any underwear, the only pair she had left was one that was in the dirty laundry basket.  I was thinking, “Why would they take all her underwear from her drawers?  That would be like getting new ladies’ underwear from the store.  What is the point in that?  What they should have done if they liked her, was take the underwear that she had been wearing, that would be the underwear to take.”  I was going to explain this to her, but then I thought, no, I better not.