Tag Archives: lessons on women

More Lessons On Women

This blog post is a furtherance of the discussion from yesterday’s blog post.

About eight years ago, I read the results of a study that was conducted by a University.  The University recruited somewhere between 400 to 1,000 women to participate in a research study.  Each woman was scheduled to come to the University three to five times per month for an approximately 1/2 hour to 1 hour session where she would be shown photographs of men, one at a time, in a private room.  For each photograph that she was shown, she was required to click the response for very unattractive, somewhat unattractive, attractive, or very attractive.

The researchers had hundreds of photographs of men.  The researchers had purposely chosen these photographs of men, in order to be able to categorize them as showing a man that was very feminine, somewhat feminine, masculine, or very masculine.

The qualities of men that were counted as masculine were, strong prominent jaw, strong prominent brow, large physical build, being muscular, and having facial hair.  The qualities of men that were counted as feminine were, soft feminine faces, slight physical build, absence of musculature, and smooth complexions with no facial hair.

After several months of conducting the research study and collecting data, the researchers found a surprising correlation, though it made sense, and could be explained.

For each individual woman, there was an odd thing that was happening.  For three weeks in a row, in each weekly session of viewing photographs of men, each individual woman would consistently choose the same type of man as being attractive.  However, on the fourth week, each individual woman would sway towards finding the most masculine men as being attractive.

What the researchers found, was that during the point in each woman’s menstrual cycle when she was able to conceive, approximately a one week period each month, she would rate the most masculine men as being attractive to her.

What was at first a little puzzling to the researchers, was if women found the most masculine men as being attractive when they were able to conceive, why didn’t women select the most masculine men as being attractive all month long?  One way to put it is, women didn’t want to deal with the most masculine men when they weren’t able to conceive, or were already pregnant.  And, that women looked at the more feminine men as easier to get along with.

What this means is, the person that a woman wants to father her children, is not necessarily the person that she wants to be married to.  Women want their children to be fathered by the biggest, strongest, most dominant male, in order for her child to have his genes and be successful.  However, women look at less masculine men as being easier to live with.

This is one reason why, though not the only reason why, I made the statement, “What women say they want, and what they actually want, are often two different things.”

I will give a couple of real life examples to illustrate what I have described above.  Number One:

A man that I worked for who had been the vice-president of a large insurance company, his daughter’s best friend got married when she was thirty-four years old.  She was a school teacher.  Prior to getting married, she and her fiancee who was thirty-six years old, discussed the subject of having children.  Her fiancee said that he did not want to have children, he thought that he was past the age of having children, was that O.K. with her?  She agreed with that, she said that she thought that she was past the age of having children.  They were in agreement, supposedly, that they did not want to have children.

The two of them were married.  About six to eight months after they were married, the wife said, “Guess what…I’m pregnant!”  The husband replied, “Guess what…I had a vasectomy!”

No, this was not the case of her husband’s vasectomy not working, this was the case of the wife getting pregnant by another man.  The husband had never told his wife that he had had a vasectomy, because he was sure that he didn’t want to have children, he could no longer have children, and his wife had said that she did not want to have children, so he didn’t bring it up.

Here is real life example Number Two:

There was an electrician that I knew who was in poor health, he was about 62 years old.  He was living with his second wife who was approximately 52 years old.  He and his second wife had been married for approximately ten years, and during their marriage his two daughters from his first marriage were kind of nasty to his wife.

Now that he was sick, his two daughters from his first marriage who were in their thirties, were somewhat more involved in his life because they were concerned about him.  The more frequent contact that they were having with their father, they took the opportunity to be mean to his second wife.  I felt sorry for his second wife, she was very long suffering and tired, she was having to care for her husband, and his two daughters in their thirties were attacking her like coyotes or hyenas.

One of his daughters was having health problems of her own.  After many medical tests, it was determined that she had this specific genetically passed on disease, that only gets passed on when both the mother and the father have it too.  The daughter insisted that this must be partly what is wrong with her father, he has to have this disease too.  He got tested…he didn’t have it…he was not her father!

He explained to his second wife, “My first wife was caught having an affair.  I said to her that we are not going to get a divorce, we are going to move several states away, and this is going to be the end of it.  When my daughter was born, I believed that she was possibly not my daughter, but I didn’t say a word about it.  When my first wife began cheating again, that is when we got a divorce.”

Here is real life example Number Three:

I was at a nightclub in Florida shortly after I had graduated from college.  There was a table with four women, who were all pretty good looking.  I went over to them and was complimentary and forward with them, which they liked.  It turned out that three of them were lesbians and one of them was not.  The one of them that was not a lesbian, was going as a Christian missionary to South America in the morning.  I spent until the early a.m. the next day with these women.

On the following weekend, I spent time with these lesbian women again, and I met more of their lesbian girl friends.  A weekend or two later, I went to a lesbian bar with these women, I said lesbian bar, not gay bar.  One of the strange things in life, is that the hottest most perfectly formed women you will ever meet, are lesbians.

This one lesbian couple that I had been around for several weekends, one of the women was a female motorcycle cop, and her girlfriend was Hispanic and a model.  I was at a party, and this Hispanic model was being very affectionate with me, she said, “My girlfriend is out of town, and sometimes I like to be with a man.”

Now pay attention, some women, and this woman in particular, are in a relationship with another woman.  For some reason, some women like being physically, romantically, and emotionally involved with another woman, and they just don’t care very much for men.  However, I suppose that this Hispanic model, when it got to be the time of the month when she was able to conceive, she found males to be attractive.

Maybe the most valuable and useful take away from this blog post, is that if you are interested in a lesbian, or some other woman who doesn’t like you, you just need to become acquainted, be observant, and wait, they may change their mind at any moment about who they like.

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Lessons On Women

During the months of July and August of this year, I got a lot of angry comments from several readers about my blog posts.  Though I had a couple thousand readers in those two months who didn’t write any comments, the same several readers kept complaining again and again.  They didn’t like my blog post titled, “Breaking Cats And Breaking Women Is The Same Thing”, my statement that “What women say they want, and what they actually want, are two different things.”, my statement that “Women will change their mind in an instant.”, or my statement that, “When women say stop, sometimes they don’t want you to stop.”

I replied to one of the commentors that he didn’t know anything about women, that he didn’t know what was going on around him, and that he should go read some books or something.  I wrote that I have gotten more complaints from women for not being abusive enough, than for being mean to them.

I will try to explain this using two real life examples.  Number One:

In North Dakota, my co-worker/supervisor who was 48 years old, the same age as me, he had a 28 year old girlfriend.  The two of them had been living together for about one year.  My co-worker/supervisor told me that his girlfriend was very good looking.  When I met her, yes, she was very good looking, in every way.  She had long brown hair, beautiful face and complexion, very good build, she was very healthy.  She was intelligent, personable, and pleasant.

Circumstances arose, to where my co-worker/supervisor needed to explain to me that about six months earlier, he and his girlfriend had gotten into a fight, a phone was dropped, knocked over, or pressed in the middle of the fight, and the phone re-dialed the owner of the company that we were working for.  The owner of the company did not answer this phone call, and it went to voice mail.  On the voice mail recording, was my co-worker/supervisor yelling at, beating, and choking his girlfriend.  His girlfriend was screaming, and yelling that she couldn’t breathe.

When the owner of the company played the voice mail message, he didn’t know what to think.  Rather than telephoning the police, the company owner drove to my co-worker/supervisor’s house to see if his girlfriend was dead or severely beaten.  During the visit from the owner of the company, my co-worker/supervisor and his girlfriend explained that everything was cool, this was a normal fight for them.

My co-worker/supervisor’s girlfriend, was very capable, healthy, intelligent, and attractive.  Her father lived about twenty minutes away, she could have gone to her father’s house any time she wanted to.  She could have walked out or driven away any time she wanted to.  Where she lived, the ratio of men to women was about 10:1, she could have gotten a boyfriend her own age, or another boyfriend in an instant.  I came to find out that my co-worker/supervisor would sometimes or often times get drunk and go crazy.  But somehow, for some reason, the yelling, fighting, and rough handling of his girlfriend, was something that she looking for, something she wanted.

I believe that many readers are going to disagree with my perspective on the story that I just told above.  Some women would say, “No woman wants to be abused or treated roughly.”  So, I will give real life example Number Two:

A friend of mine from California named Steve, was a Petty Officer in the Navy.  He was stationed in San Diego.  Steve was thin and had a slight build, he was about 5′-10″ and 140 lbs., though he was somewhat handsome.

About eight years earlier, he had a very attractive girlfriend in San Diego.  She was tall, thin, blond, and was working as a model when he was dating her.  After they had been dating for about four to six weeks, she said to Steve, “I am used to dating men who are abusive, that is what I like.  So if you want to keep me, you are going to have to start being abusive to me.”

Steve didn’t know what to think.  Steve was one of the least abusive people that you would ever meet.  He didn’t want to lose her, so he began to think about how to be abusive.  He was not coming up with anything on how to be abusive.  He could  tell that his girlfriend was becoming dissatisfied with him, because of her attitude.

He and his girlfriend had gone to the grocery store.  They were each carrying groceries and walking up the hallway stairs to his apartment.  Without warning, Steve turned around and pushed his model girlfriend down the stairs.  She tumbled down the stairs, spilling groceries everywhere, coming to a stop on the landing at the bottom of the stairs.  She had this angry look on her face like, “What the fuck is wrong with you, are you crazy?”  But then she started to smile, and then she started to laugh.

When his model girlfriend had said to Steve, that he needed to be more abusive to her, this is not exactly what she had meant, but this was the best that Steve could come up with.

Now, as crazy as you think that story sounds, I had the same thing happen to me.  I was dating this very attractive lady who was from a very wealthy family.  She lived in a very large condominium on the ocean in Florida.  After we had been dating for about four to six weeks, she had a talk with me.  She said that when she had began dating me, she thought that I was going to be more abusive to her and that she was disappointed in me.  For one thing, when I was doing something that she didn’t like, and she told me to stop, I stopped, but she didn’t want me to stop, she wanted me to do things to her that she didn’t like, and not stop when she told me to stop.

For the young men who are reading this, I am not telling you to go be abusive to women, because you can get into a lot of trouble for this.  But if you take a look around you, the young ladies are probably trying to be with the young men who are abusive and mean.  I won’t go into all the reasons now, but young women and women are attracted to men who are “Alpha Males” who take what they want, who don’t care, and who are “Dangerous”.  You can pretend to be like this if you want to attract the interest of women.