During the months of July and August of this year, I got a lot of angry comments from several readers about my blog posts. Though I had a couple thousand readers in those two months who didn’t write any comments, the same several readers kept complaining again and again. They didn’t like my blog post titled, “Breaking Cats And Breaking Women Is The Same Thing”, my statement that “What women say they want, and what they actually want, are two different things.”, my statement that “Women will change their mind in an instant.”, or my statement that, “When women say stop, sometimes they don’t want you to stop.”
I replied to one of the commentors that he didn’t know anything about women, that he didn’t know what was going on around him, and that he should go read some books or something. I wrote that I have gotten more complaints from women for not being abusive enough, than for being mean to them.
I will try to explain this using two real life examples. Number One:
In North Dakota, my co-worker/supervisor who was 48 years old, the same age as me, he had a 28 year old girlfriend. The two of them had been living together for about one year. My co-worker/supervisor told me that his girlfriend was very good looking. When I met her, yes, she was very good looking, in every way. She had long brown hair, beautiful face and complexion, very good build, she was very healthy. She was intelligent, personable, and pleasant.
Circumstances arose, to where my co-worker/supervisor needed to explain to me that about six months earlier, he and his girlfriend had gotten into a fight, a phone was dropped, knocked over, or pressed in the middle of the fight, and the phone re-dialed the owner of the company that we were working for. The owner of the company did not answer this phone call, and it went to voice mail. On the voice mail recording, was my co-worker/supervisor yelling at, beating, and choking his girlfriend. His girlfriend was screaming, and yelling that she couldn’t breathe.
When the owner of the company played the voice mail message, he didn’t know what to think. Rather than telephoning the police, the company owner drove to my co-worker/supervisor’s house to see if his girlfriend was dead or severely beaten. During the visit from the owner of the company, my co-worker/supervisor and his girlfriend explained that everything was cool, this was a normal fight for them.
My co-worker/supervisor’s girlfriend, was very capable, healthy, intelligent, and attractive. Her father lived about twenty minutes away, she could have gone to her father’s house any time she wanted to. She could have walked out or driven away any time she wanted to. Where she lived, the ratio of men to women was about 10:1, she could have gotten a boyfriend her own age, or another boyfriend in an instant. I came to find out that my co-worker/supervisor would sometimes or often times get drunk and go crazy. But somehow, for some reason, the yelling, fighting, and rough handling of his girlfriend, was something that she looking for, something she wanted.
I believe that many readers are going to disagree with my perspective on the story that I just told above. Some women would say, “No woman wants to be abused or treated roughly.” So, I will give real life example Number Two:
A friend of mine from California named Steve, was a Petty Officer in the Navy. He was stationed in San Diego. Steve was thin and had a slight build, he was about 5′-10″ and 140 lbs., though he was somewhat handsome.
About eight years earlier, he had a very attractive girlfriend in San Diego. She was tall, thin, blond, and was working as a model when he was dating her. After they had been dating for about four to six weeks, she said to Steve, “I am used to dating men who are abusive, that is what I like. So if you want to keep me, you are going to have to start being abusive to me.”
Steve didn’t know what to think. Steve was one of the least abusive people that you would ever meet. He didn’t want to lose her, so he began to think about how to be abusive. He was not coming up with anything on how to be abusive. He could tell that his girlfriend was becoming dissatisfied with him, because of her attitude.
He and his girlfriend had gone to the grocery store. They were each carrying groceries and walking up the hallway stairs to his apartment. Without warning, Steve turned around and pushed his model girlfriend down the stairs. She tumbled down the stairs, spilling groceries everywhere, coming to a stop on the landing at the bottom of the stairs. She had this angry look on her face like, “What the fuck is wrong with you, are you crazy?” But then she started to smile, and then she started to laugh.
When his model girlfriend had said to Steve, that he needed to be more abusive to her, this is not exactly what she had meant, but this was the best that Steve could come up with.
Now, as crazy as you think that story sounds, I had the same thing happen to me. I was dating this very attractive lady who was from a very wealthy family. She lived in a very large condominium on the ocean in Florida. After we had been dating for about four to six weeks, she had a talk with me. She said that when she had began dating me, she thought that I was going to be more abusive to her and that she was disappointed in me. For one thing, when I was doing something that she didn’t like, and she told me to stop, I stopped, but she didn’t want me to stop, she wanted me to do things to her that she didn’t like, and not stop when she told me to stop.
For the young men who are reading this, I am not telling you to go be abusive to women, because you can get into a lot of trouble for this. But if you take a look around you, the young ladies are probably trying to be with the young men who are abusive and mean. I won’t go into all the reasons now, but young women and women are attracted to men who are “Alpha Males” who take what they want, who don’t care, and who are “Dangerous”. You can pretend to be like this if you want to attract the interest of women.
Dickinson58601 
I agree most women (emphasis on most) want an alpha male. Perhaps we disagree on what that means, practically. I think women want STRONG men, men who have courage, can keep them safe, won’t let anybody mess with them.
There are a lot of men (and we’ve been raising them that way, not their fault, some of them) are becoming too feminine. Adam Carolla wrote an excellent book called “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks”. I highly recommend it. It’s very funny and on point. We want to medicate little boys, dope them into quiet, subdued. Little boys naturally have a ton of energy, and anybody with sense can see that most little boys are born to be very, very physical. Little boys develop their gross motor skills ahead of little girls, while little girls develop their fine motor skills (and typically social skills) ahead of boys. We are NOT the same, no matter what the Orwellian freak show MSM tell us (and dissent from their view is increasingly not allowed).
All that said, I am pretty old and before I married, I dated a great deal, had many boyfriends. I never spent time with any who was abusive to me. I did have a few men say something ugly, mentally cruel, and then they were OUT, my boots were made for walking, and that’s what they did. Out of all the women I’ve known over the many years of my life, I’ve known a few (and only a few) who put up with abuse or enjoyed it. Being abusive to women is NOT a man being strong, it is not a man being alpha. It IS true that there are women, warped in some way, somehow, who DO prefer someone who isn’t very good to them, even someone who is rotten, volatile. That is not a symptom of a genuinely HEALTHY person.
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S,
I am surprised that you commented on this particular blog post, but I am glad that you did. There are some things that I want to get out in the open so that people know that they exist.
One study that was conducted on women by a University, involved the showing of individual women, the photographs of men, one at a time, and the women were required to click the appropriate rating for how attractive or unattractive the man shown in the photo was. Of course there was a large amount of women in the study, a diverse cross section of women. The testing on the women was done for several months. The results of the study were as follows, when the women were at the point in their menstrual cycle where they were able to conceive, approximately a one week period, they overwhelmingly selected the most masculine men as attractive, the bearded men, muscular men, blue collar worker men. For the approximately three week period in the women’s menstrual cycle when they were not able to conceive, the women overwhelmingly selected the least masculine men as attractive.
What the researchers believed, was that biologically, women were programmed to want their offspring to be fathered by the strongest, most masculine, most dominant males. However, biologically or consciously, the women recognized that as far as child rearing and family cooperation goes, the least masculine men would be easier to deal with to help raise their children.
In parallel studies, now that paternity tests are easier and less costly, there is starting to be more evidence that for a long time, that women in a marriage would recognize the time in which they were able to conceive, seek out a masculine male to become pregnant, in the following days have sex with their husband, have multiple children in their marriage, and none of them having been fathered by their husband, without their husband ever knowing. In some cases the husband never suspected that anything was amiss, because all of the children looked the same. In many cases, the women would seek out the same dominant, masculine male each time they were able to conceive.
I don’t like this, this is kind of sneaky and treacherous, but unfortunately life is not what you would like it to be.
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