There are some pretend witches in Dickinson, some wanna-be witches, and some lazy, slutty, overweight women in Dickinson who aren’t witches, who give witches a bad name.

According to the Bible, I am not supposed to have anything to do with witches, but I am beginning to wonder about that, like a lot of other things.

Here is a list of what witches are not, I repeat, what they are not like:

• They are not fat, overweight, out-of-shape, unkempt, wrinkled women.
• They are not smokers, alcoholics, drug addicts, or promiscuous women.
• They are not lazy, uneducated, stupid, or women with bad judgement.
• They are not poor, they don’t live in decrepit dwellings, or wear tattered clothing.
• They don’t drive beat-up vehicles with a bunch of bumper stickers on them saying that they are a witch, “witches heal”, or “save mother earth”.
• They are not mid-wives or nurse practitioners, these are men-haters, lesbians, or dykes.

There are some women who are lazy, overweight, undisciplined slobs who have no self-control who would like to think of themselves as witches because they don’t do what other people want or expect of them, but “witch” is not at all what they are, more fitting terms would be fat, lazy, no-good, or stupid.

Real witches are way above average in intelligence, but you might not notice, because they don’t want to stand out, which could lead to problems for them, and they know it.  Because witches are way above average in intelligence, they do not have difficulty in the occupations that they choose, therefore they do not have money problems.

In order to not stand out, they do not usually assume top-tier positions in their field of occupation, though they could if they wanted to.  For example, they choose to be a nurse or a pharmacist rather than a medical doctor.

Real witches do not have money problems, not just because they have above average intelligence and have no difficulty in the occupations they choose, but they have many other ways to make money, and there are many other things that they do which give them an advantage.

For instance, witches are very good at beguiling men.  If a witch wants to have a new roof put on her house, have her house painted, or have her yard professionally maintained, she is able to get it done for low prices, with extra effort put in by the men performing the work.  This is one of the reasons why real witches do not live in decrepit houses, they have money, and they can always get home maintenance done.

In order to get what they want, or get things done, witches can beguile men, cast spells, and put hexes on people.  Witches don’t have to be mean and nasty toward other people, they can just put spells and hexes on other people to make them go away or disappear.  This is one of the reasons why witches do not have wrinkles, they do not have to stress over money, things, or other people.

Because of witches’ intelligence, intuitiveness, awareness, knowledge, and discipline, they know how to take care of their physical bodies and maintain their physical health.  Completely contrary to some depictions of witches, witches tend to have beautiful hair, very good complexions, low body weight, and out of the ordinary attractiveness, usually into very old age.

Here is a general description of how you might spot a witch, if she has all of these characteristics:  She has long beautiful hair, a good complexion, a good figure, a nice home, a nice yard, never stresses, stays inside much of the time, is hardly ever or never sick, and she drives a Toyota Corolla or a Honda Civic which is very clean and in good condition.

See, here is part of the give-away or tell, if she is so pretty, and she has such a nice home, she probably could afford to have a Mercedes or BMW, but she doesn’t.  This is not only because she has above average intelligence, but because she is trying to not stand out.

Sometimes, witches marry, if her husband is someone that she thinks that she can keep under her control.  If not, if she was mistaken, their husbands have an “accident” or get sick and die, leaving her both money, and an excuse as to why she does not have a man in her life.

I have met three older women in the Dickinson area who are real witches.  Each of them are very attractive in their older age, each of them are married, and each of them have very nice homes and money.  Two of these women who are in their fifties now, have better complexions, tighter skin, much leaner muscular bodies, and much better long beautiful hair than girls who are in their teens.

One of my favorite things, was when two of these three witches would come up behind me and gently rake my lower back with their finger nails.  It was the best feeling in the World.

I also know of one young lady in Dickinson who might be a real witch, I suppose that she is.  She is married.  There is no point in me telling on these three older witches or this one young witch, they would just deny it, they wouldn’t like me telling on them, and no one would believe me anyway.  Their husbands don’t even know.