This past week I was at a bar, restaurant, gathering, or event in Dickinson, where I met more than several women.  In order to tell this story, I have to be vague about who, what, when, and where.

The first group of women that were talking to me, were a little bit younger than me, fairly attractive, outgoing, positive, and kind of wild.  They were talking to me and playing with me just to be nice and friendly.  But, one of these three women came back by herself, and she wanted to talk to me some more.  I will call her “Karen”, though that is not her real name.

As Karen started to like me more and more as we were talking, she stood beside me, and was pressing into me, so that I could not help but look down at her bare tan shoulders and breasts.  I was noticing that she had no tan lines.  Then I noticed that she had a pierced tongue, and she said, “Yes, everything is pierced.”

Karen had told me a lot about herself, and what she and her husband did for a living.  I am 48 years old, and I know how married women become bored, and irritated with their husbands for any one of a thousand possible reasons.  I didn’t have to ask about that, women are always mad at their husbands for something.

In this particular instance, Karen’s husband not being there with her, was his crime, and reason enough for her to go astray.  The only obstacle, was that every single person there, knew that she was married.  She was spending so much time up close with me, it was obvious to everyone that she was drunk and horny, but none of her male friends or female friends tried to stop her or come and get her.  I thought that she would end up coming home with me, or me with her.

(Reminder, this is Dickinson, North Dakota, where the ratio of men to women is 3:1, and there is a scarcity of attractive women.  The Dickinson Police will absolutely not allow prostitution, so if you want to be with an attractive woman, you have to borrow someone else’s wife.)

Karen was not ready to leave yet, it was still early.  She wanted to drink more, and she proceeded to do so.  All the better for me, I thought.

Then, somebody else’s wife came over to me and started talking to me.  I will call her “Laurie”, though that is not her real name.  Laurie was even more mad at her husband than Karen was.  Laurie was not drunk, just mad.  As Laurie started talking with me, she began to like me even more than Karen did.

I was happy to talk to some woman who liked me, who wasn’t drunk.  Laurie began to push up against me, and I could not help but notice what nice tan breasts she had.  Everyone there knew that Laurie was married, but none of her male friends or female friends tried to stop her, or come and get her.

Then Karen came over, Karen and Laurie knew each other.  Karen was much more drunk by then, and Laurie was not completely nice to Karen, kind of trying to get Karen to go away, which she did.  Laurie’s husband was supposedly in the immediate vicinity, whereas Karen’s husband was at least sixty miles away.

It would have been better for me to go home with Karen, because Karen’s husband was much farther away, and Karen was drunk.  However, Karen soon became so drunk, that having sex with her would have been illegal.  If I would not have been talking to Laurie, I could have gotten Karen to leave sooner.  It may have been Laurie talking to me for so long, that made Karen decide to go ahead and get too drunk to have sex.

Laurie came back over to talk to me again, complaining to me that her husband was a drunken mess.  I saw her husband finally, he was the biggest, tallest, most muscular guy there.  I thought to myself, “Jesus Christ you crazy woman, what are you trying to do, get me killed.”  Her husband was about four or five inches taller than me, and about fifty pounds heavier than me, and he looked like a bully and a thug.  And his wife has been talking to me and rubbing up against me for quite a while.

I had thought for sure that I was going home with an attractive, drunk, horny woman, but now instead it looked like I was going to get beat up.  I thought, “Man, I just want to go home now.”  It would be O.K. with me if I never saw these people again.