A previous blog post that I wrote contains a list of attractive women in Dickinson, North Dakota.  Recently, I saw that one of the unmarried women on this list is now wearing an engagement ring.  I feel bad for her, I don’t want to be more specific, but I feel bad for her, and I wish that I could warn her.  This is why I want to now give some advice to the unmarried women on my list of attractive women in Dickinson on getting married.

The way I see it, there are only two ways that the unmarried women on my list will be happy in marriage:

1. They must find a man, that they like everything about him.  His feet, his toes, his calves, his knees, his thighs, his bottom, his waist, his stomach, his chest, his back, his shoulders, his arms, his hands, his neck, his head, his face, his nose, his mouth, his teeth, his ears, his hair, how he smells, what he says, what he does, and what he thinks.  They must like everything about him, because this is the only way they are going to be able to stay married to him.

Inevitably, he will do something wrong, something irritating, something they don’t like.  He will lose his job, he will put on weight, he will waste money, he will lose money, he will cheat.  The only way that they will be able to stick with him, is because they liked everything about him to begin with.

If they marry a man because he is “nice”, what happens when he isn’t “nice” anymore, and there isn’t really much else to like about him?  If they marry a man because he has a good job, what happens when he doesn’t have a job, and there isn’t really much else to like about him?

What I am saying is, don’t compromise and settle for someone that you don’t like everything about, because in time you may find yourself not liking him anymore, when the few qualities and characteristics that you liked have disappeared, and there is nothing left to like about him.

2.  They must find a man that is older, wise, patient, benevolent, and very wealthy.  The older man will be what he is, not going to change, and they must like him as he is.  From there, the woman can do what she wants, work or not work, go to school or not go to school, travel or not travel, have hobbies or not have hobbies, have children or not have children, sulk, pout, mope, sleep, shop, exercise, whatever.  She must be sometimes amicable, or even a patient man’s patience will run out.

She will get to do mostly whatever she wants, with little resistance or interference.

The way that other women become married, I think that it would kill the women on my list of attractive women, not that it doesn’t kill the other women too.  Marrying a man that appears to be exciting and entertaining, only to find out that he is an asshole.  Spending most of his money on himself, on overly expensive trucks, ATVs, boats, guns, hunting and fishing equipment.  Finding out that their husband is more interested in these possessions than them.  There being only barely enough money left over to go to WalMart to buy groceries and necessities for the family.  The big night out to dinner at the Pizza Ranch or King Buffet with their overweight, ugly, fat stupid husband.  Looking across the restaurant to see all the other 200 lb housewives stuffing their faces into oblivion, and realizing that this will be their fate too.