North Dakota White Trash Hall Of Fame, Williston, North Dakota, Part II

In Part I of this blog post, I wrote about the North Dakota White Trash Hall Of Fame in Williston, North Dakota. In order to be fair, there needs to be a point system in order to determine who will be inducted. Below is a point system.

  1. If the person is from Florida or Texas, they automatically get 1 point.
  2. If their name is “Kayla”, they automatically get 1 point.

 

  1. If they drive a Pontiac Grand Prix, they get 1 point.
  2. For each vehicle hubcap missing, 1 point.
  3. For each vehicle window that is broken, 2 points.
  4. For each vehicle windshield or rear window decal banner, 3 points.

 

  1. For each body piercing, 1 point.
  2. For each tattoo, 1 point.
  3. Each name tattoo, 2 points.
  4. Each misspelled tattoo, 3 points.

 

  1. Each tobacco product used, 1 point.
  2. Each illegal drug used, 3 points.

 

  1. Each misdemeanor, 1 point.
  2. Each warrant out for their arrest, 3 points.
  3. Each resisting arrest, 3 points.
  4. Each felony, 4 points.
  5. Each assaulting a police officer, 5 points.

 

In the point system, there is no maximum point total, because it is not conceivable how many tattoos, piercings, and criminal charges a person might have. I believe that a person with a point total of 10 is probably White Trash, however this point total of 10 would probably be what 75% of the workers in North Dakota would have. You can’t have everybody inducted into The North Dakota White Trash Hall Of Fame. I believe a sufficient point total to be inducted would be 15 points.

I believe that a good time and place to have a White Trash person inducted into The North Dakota White Trash Hall Of Fame, would be at their sentencing hearing. Right after the judge or jury reads the sentencing determination, they can announce, “Also, you are hereby inducted into the North Dakota White Trash Hall Of Fame, congratulations.” Then everyone present can clap, the inductee gets their picture taken, and this photograph goes in the newspaper.

 

Please mail your nominations for induction into The North Dakota White Trash Hall Of Fame to:

Chamber of Commerce                                                                                                                         Attn: White Trash Hall Of Fame                                                                                                             #10 Main Street                                                                                                                                           P.O. Box G                                                                                                                                                      Williston, North Dakota 58802

 

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