Looking back on my life, most of my problems have come from me trying to help people. During the past several years of living in Dickinson, North Dakota I have tried to remind myself many times to not help people. However, I recently tried to help a family, and I became very angry at the result.
In May of this year I bought a house in the Dickinson area. This house was built in about 1950 and it does need some maintenance work. It was also a lot of work for me to get my belongings, furniture, equipment, and vehicles to this new house.
I was thinking of different types of fences and gates that I wanted to install at my new house. Plus security cameras and motion activated yard lights so that I didn’t have to go through thefts, attempted thefts, and vandalism like I did when I was living at my apartment in downtown Dickinson. There were many things that needed to be done at my new house.
I had lived in my 2 BR apartment in downtown Dickinson for the past three years, and it needed a thorough cleaning and some damage repair before I moved out. With everything that I had to do, I would like to get some help.
Most of my friends and my neighbors that I am friends with, are older than me, and most of them have hip, back, knee, or hernia problems, so I only asked each of them for a very small amount of help. I was trying to think about who else that I could get to help me with my projects.
Even for things like cleaning out roof gutters, digging fence post holes, and holding fence posts vertical while I add quickcrete around them, I didn’t want someone that I didn’t know very well or trust over at my house. I have eight vehicles, a car trailer, an equipment trailer, motorcycles, and all kinds of tools and equipment at my house. I didn’t want an unemployed naer-do-well over at my house looking at all of my stuff and thinking about what they wanted to try to come back and get when I was at work.
The people that are able-bodied, reliable, trustworthy, competent, and skilled, they already have full-time jobs making good money. They don’t need to waste their few days off cleaning gutters or scraping loose paint over at my house.
There was a woman that I met not long ago, who was trying to make additional money outside of her regular full-time job. Through the past couple of months she did help me some for money, and she was appearing to be reliable and normal, not a drug addict or con-artist. When she helped me, I paid her more than she asked for, because she was having financial difficulty.
This woman introduced me to her boyfriend, who looked to be younger than her, and he acted like a disaster. In the future I plan on writing a blog post article about women who partner with the worst possible men, with the worst qualities, and it ruins their lives. Why do they do this?
In this particular instance, it almost seemed as if this woman had adopted a stray animal, rather than picked a boyfriend. I wondered what must have been going on in her mind? Was she horny, lonely, believing that this was all that she could get or was available? She never really did come out and say that this was her boyfriend, she just said his name, like she was too embarrassed to say the he was her boyfriend, but he piped right up to say that he was. Whatever.
Because she knew that I had all kinds of work to do at my house, she was suggesting to me that I could hire her boyfriend to do it. I asked her what was his trade, was he a carpenter, a painter, a roofer, a mechanic? To which she replied, “He will do whatever you show him.” Oh God, I thought.
Her boyfriend was nice enough, but he acted so immature, and he already was young. Well, he was probably thirty, but he acted like he was sixteen. He was so hyperactive and Attention Deficit Disorder acting, with high energy and enthusiasm, but no experience, skill, or probably even common sense. I could tell that he would probably do way more damage than anything else.
I had met this woman’s elementary school aged daughter a couple of times, and seen her with her boyfriend. Her daughter was withdrawn acting, not like she was dumb or unobservant, but like she was choosing to not communicate or interact. I asked her how was her daughter doing in school, and she replied that her school had wanted to hold her back a grade for each of the past two years.
Sometimes when kids go through repeated traumatic events, they withdraw and don’t want to communicate, for a number of different reasons. There is a young woman named Stephi Lee Wright that I read about, who had what is called “selective mutism” up until the age of eleven, where she wouldn’t speak to hardly anyone. But she would draw, do artwork, and play with animals.
This family did not have internet at their house, but there was internet at this woman’s work, where her daughter sat quietly not saying anything. I thought that her daughter would probably enjoy a tablet computer or a small laptop to draw on, play games, watch videos, look at things, and look things up.
I was thinking about getting her daughter a tablet computer or laptop computer, because a friend of mine buys computers, fixes them, then sells them. I have bought about five tablets and laptops from him in the past, he usually charges me about $140 each. He currently needs money, so I was going to buy a computer from him for her daughter.
I asked her if she wanted a tablet or laptop for her daughter, and she said that she did. I went and looked at what my friend had. He was being stingy with his tablets, but he had some small size laptops. He would get one ready for me to take, he had some carrying cases for these. I had an extra pair of headphones to go with it.
I didn’t want to ask this woman to do any more work for me, because she already had too much to do, with her side jobs, full-time job, child, her own housework, and her own yard work, even though I trusted her and she did a good job whatever she did.
I had seen her young boyfriend not working during the week, and going fishing. I saw this, because they live a couple of city blocks away from me. It kind of made me mad, that while she was at work during the day, her boyfriend was fishing. She had explained to me that she had been having a $300-$400 shortfall of money every month. I tried to think of something that I could pay her boyfriend to do for me, and not break anything. I could give him a try, and then decide if he could do anything else.
I asked her if her boyfriend was currently scheduled to do work anywhere, I had some work that I could pay him to do. I said that I had a 6’x6′ wooden shed that needed to be scraped, painted with primer, and then painted. What I was offering to pay, was about $20-$25 per hour on this small project. Oh no she said, “He gets $30-$40 per hour.” I said, “What, that’s fucking crazy!” And I walked out.
I couldn’t believe this! This woman with a full-time job and different side jobs, she had told me that she was having a $300-$400 per month shortfall of money. When she had asked me if I wanted to hire her boyfriend to do work, I had asked her what was his trade. He had no trade or skill, but “Would do whatever you showed him to do.” So why the fuck do you/he, think that he should get $30-$40 per hour for unskilled labor? And if he gets that, why the fuck are you saying that you have a shortfall of money?
For those of you who don’t know, as a comparison, in the states of ID, UT, MT, ND, SD, WY, Union journeymen who have completed their apprenticeships in the skilled trades of electrician, welder, plumber, heavy equipment operator get paid $30-$40 per hour. Don’t fucking argue with me on this, I work at a Union jobsite with electricians, welders, and operators, and this is what they get paid. Union laborers get paid $23 per hour where I work.
I didn’t think that this woman was a con-artist, but now I do. I later talked to a couple of my neighbors about this, and before I even got into my story, they said, “Is this Xxxxxxx?” I said yes. They said that they had been through this with him too, and that he is not allowed back to their house.
I was very disgusted and sick of people for at least a week after this. I had begun trusting these people and trying to help them, but once again I learned my lesson to not help people.