In my previous blog post, I wrote about seeing an Elfin woman on Wednesday, and two young Elfin women on Thursday in Watford City. This hardly ever happens, anywhere. However, there were contributing factors to this, it is warmer, the ground is thawing out, many many oil field workers have left the area and it is safer for them to come out, and I think that the Elfin women like Taco Johns.
I thought that I would write a brief Guide To Elfin Women.
Elfin women are not really the same species as humans. However, you can get them pregnant. If you do, they will be very upset, and blame you for it entirely, and there is no telling what else they will do.
You are likely to see only one or two Elfin women in a year. If you happen to find out, or see where an Elfin woman lives, it is bad luck. You are unlikely to ever see one working, because they don’t usually have jobs.
If you do know where an Elfin woman is, you can place an unopened bag of either Hershey’s Kisses or an unopened bag of Hershey’s miniature candy bars in front of her, and say, “Here.”, look at her, and walk away. She will examine the bag, and decide if she would like to eat one later. She may throw the bag away without opening it, but that is O.K., she knows that you like her. Don’t try to give an Elfin woman anything else, other than the two specific items that I just described, or it will upset them. You have to wait at least six weeks before you can give them chocolate again, or it will upset them.
You can send an Elfin woman a card, or write her a letter, but don’t send more than three per month, or it will upset them. You can say once that you like them in each card or letter, but don’t say that you love them. In a letter, it is best to write about your involvement or relationships with other creatures. For instance, you could write that you like to play banjo for fish in a pond, or write that you are teaching your cat to ride a bike. Don’t write about harming animals or people, so don’t write about hunting, fishing, or sports. They will not write you back, acknowledge that they received any of your letters, and they may not read your letters, but it counts in their mind that you took the time to write to them.
Elfin women don’t date anyone. They see you coming way before you see them, and they can disappear, so the fact that they are even still present when you arrive where you think they might be, is an indication that they like you. To them, not hiding from you, is what you might think of as a date.
Elfin women are averse to typical human relationships. They do not want to have children, they do not want to work, they do not like to work, they do not want to be on a schedule, they do not like to be asked a lot of questions, they do not like to be bothered. They do like some of the physical characteristics of men. They like men that are handsome or cute, who make things or build things that they like.
If an Elfin woman trusts you more and more, she may go places with you. Like human women, they like to go places that have nice big clean bathrooms, and tile. They like to ride in big trucks, fast cars, luxury cars, good looking cars, but not beater cars or ugly cars.
Elfin women do not like to be kissed or handled in public. If they have gotten to the point where they trust you, when no one is around, you can hold on to their pants belt loop and kiss them, but you have to have a hold of them before you try to kiss them because they will try to get away.