Being Sick In Watford City, North Dakota

I have been sick for the past two weeks, and I have been especially miserable because I have been working in Watford City.  I didn’t care if I died, it seemed to me like I was already dead, this place is so strange, I must be dead already and I don’t really understand that I’m dead yet.

But just in case I wasn’t dead, I was trying not to get a speeding ticket each time the police tail gated me on the Disenchanted Highway.  If they had pulled me over, I just would have laughed and laughed, you are going to get sick now, sick like me, sick for two weeks, you’ll see, you’ll see what it’s like to be dead.

If it would not have been for the CENEX Gas Station, I would have died.  It was easy to drive up to the gas pump, walk inside and buy some Dayquil and several bottles of Gatorade without being assaulted or raped by the oil field workers, or eaten by the local people, I don’t think they allow that on the CENEX property.  The Cash Wise grocery store parking lot is a different matter, and I didn’t feel like I was strong enough to shop at Cash Wise without something happening to me.

It gives me even more of a headache to look at all the freaky people in Watford City.  I have already written about the White Trash in Watford City, the poor white people from the South that have magically come to work in Watford City, because nobody else will.  I haven’t talked about the weird freaky people in Watford City, the kind of people that make you not want to get out of your car at the gas station or the grocery store parking lot, and say to yourself, “No, I don’t need food that bad, I’ll just go home.”

I think that the weird freaky people in Watford City are a hybrid breed.  I think that some are a cross between Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder father and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome mother.  I think that these hybrids have also bred back with the White Trash.  In any case, they are not very tall, they have pale skin, they have tattoos and piercings, and both the males and the females have effeminate physique with wide hips and fat ass.  They are not indigenous to Watford City, they moved here because of the oil boom.  They can’t do really heavy labor, but they get hired to do jobs that require a lot of driving or working at a cash register.  To say that they are Transgender, does not really even cover it, and I don’t want to.  Go read about determining the sex of Parrots if you want to, then you’ll know what I’m talking about.

In the midst of my sickness, I got a new neighbor.  She is not bad looking, but she is weird, one of the weird freaky people.  She’s a lesbian.  I don’t know why, but Watford City can’t seem to get enough weird freaky people.  Fifty years ago, these people would have gotten arrested, or run out of town in North Dakota for their deviant freaky behavior, but now Watford City can’t get enough of them.

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