Tag Archives: marriage in Dickinson

July 2015 Update for Dickinson, North Dakota

Hello everyone.  I have not written any posts for this blog for a little over two months.  I have had many ups and downs here in Dickinson in the past two months, work related, women related, housing related.

Please, if you are considering coming to Dickinson at this time, don’t.  Many, many people here are wanting to leave, including myself, but we can’t because we don’t have enough money to leave.  Even though it is the peak of the work season, this is about the least amount of cash-on-hand that I have had in the past twenty years.  I am almost a pay-check-to-pay-check person now, though I have never been before at any time in my life, thank you Dickinson.

I tried to remain calm here in Dickinson as the work has gone away since about December of 2014, waiting for things to sort themself out.  I remained as manager of a small company because I liked the owner, I liked the company, and I liked the work, but my pay went down and down.  I held off, but finally accepted a job at a competitor company which had much more work, but found out within a couple of days that the company was one of the sleaziest places that I had ever worked.  I soon realized that they had more work because they were slightly lower in price, but were greatly lower, vastly lower in the skill level of their personnel, and their ethics were that of the worst-of-the-worst, bottom-of-the-barrel car salesman.  So back to my previous employer I went, learning that not only do you have to be wary of strangers in Dickinson from out-of-state, who may stab you in a Wal-Mart parking lot, but Jesus, you have got to be even more careful about going to work for some of the companies operating here in Dickinson or you will get mugged, raped, and robbed by them.

People in Dickinson now, there are people like myself and others who would like to leave, but don’t have the money to leave.  But there are other people, maybe even myself, that are too stupid to know to leave.  The top income earners had been the young, able-bodied men who worked on the drill rigs, twelve hours per day, two weeks straight, then one week off.  When the drill rigs shut down, these guys went home, they went someplace else, they left the state right then going about 80 miles per hour.  Maybe I should have too, but I did not know what I would do for a living back in Idaho where I still have a house, I thought I would be better off here in Dickinson, but now I am more stuck than I was back in December, January, February.

As the oil field worker men left town, and it became Spring, then Summer, the women came out of their holes and began to move about.  Women began letting me get close enough to them to talk to them and pet them, though you still have to be careful about what you say, so that they don’t start squealing,”That guy is bothering me!, that guy right there!”, also, don’t try to pet them, I said that they let me get close enough to pet them.  Anyway, they keep asking me,”Do you like Dickinson?”  What they are trying to figure out, is if you are going to stay.  What they are trying to figure out, is if you just want to have fun/sex with a girl/woman while you are here, like it doesn’t really mean anything to you, and then you are just going to leave, maybe when they just start to really like you, maybe when they become pregnant, maybe when they are making plans to marry you, are you going to do that, just leave one day?  I am not handsome enough for women to want to have sex with me just because I am so handsome.  For some women, there are guys that are so handsome, they will have sex with him just to not miss the opportunity.  But that’s not me.  Women will consider having sex with me because I am clean, healthy, polite, and have potential in their minds, in some ways, but they have to have more reason than that.  Getting off the track slightly, a sufficient additional reason might be that they are mad at their boyfriend or they are drunk.  Getting back on track with my point, even if women in Dickinson like you or find you attractive, they don’t want to date you or have sex with you unless you tell them that you like Dickinson, meaning that you are willing to stay here, meaning that you potentially would want to marry them.

Having lived in Dickinson for three years now, and having met more women this summer than ever before, because so many men have moved away, the women will let me talk to them now, I got a lot more insight and have more of an understanding of women in Dickinson now.  Most of the people from Dickinson are Catholic, most of the women in Dickinson are Catholic.  Most of the women in Dickinson have a view of life where they want to be married, have multiple children, and have a husband that takes care of them and their children.  In their view, it would be a good idea to get the best possible husband, one who is tall and handsome, one who has good earning potential.  If they spot a guy like this, they had better try to get him quick before some other girl in Dickinson does, because there is only a limited selection in Dickinson, if you don’t get a good guy right away, just look at what you will have to pick from, guys that none of the other women in Dickinson wanted! For the women in Dickinson, if the guy doesn’t want to marry them, the women have to drop this guy right away and try to hurry up and find some other guy they like, who does want to marry them.

I don’t look at dating this way.  I meet young women who are appealing because they are healthy, in shape, have a lot of energy, and are friendly.  I would like to go ride bikes, hiking, or canoeing with these young women.  I meet women who are older than me, who are knowledgeable about law, business, art, architecture, and history.  I would like to talk with these older women.  My point is this: I don’t demand, require, or expect that any woman meet a list of qualifications for me to like them or date them.  Also, I don’t mind if they want to date for a week, a month, a year.  I couldn’t say if I would want to marry them unless I knew them very, very well, and even then I realize that I could be mistaken about what the woman is really like.  So, in short, I don’t ask women out with the expectation or desire that this will culminate in marriage.  I like women, I like being with women, so it is enough in itself just to have the company of a woman I like.  I don’t have to “own” her and “control” her, shouldn’t she be able to do what she wants, when she wants?  I can kind of see why women want to get married, and I would agree to get married if I could see the marriage working out, but I don’t have the same policy/procedure as women in Dickinson regarding dating, that is to only date people who have the intention of marrying them.

I could be mistaken, but elsewhere I believe that there are women who want to date men because they enjoy their company, they are physically attracted to them, they share common interests and opinions, they enjoy going places and being together, yet the woman does not want someone telling her what to do and when to do it, she wants her own house, her own furniture, her own pets, and her own car without having to compromise or get agreement from someone else.  In Dickinson, women want to make sure up front that you want to get married, have kids, provide for them, and every aspect of your life will be geared to accommodating your wife and children, until you die.  So women in Dickinson will try to find out right away if you plan on staying in Dickinson, if you don’t plan on staying in Dickinson, then you probably don’t have the intention of marrying them, and they don’t want to waste their time dating you.

 

Women in Dickinson, North Dakota

I stated that the purpose of this blog was to try to provide truthful information to people about what living in Dickinson, North Dakota, is like.  Women in Dickinson, North Dakota, are significantly different from women elsewhere.  I feel the need to explain this, not so that I can say cruel things about women in Dickinson, but to let people from out of state know what to expect.

As I have said elsewhere in this blog, there are way more men in Dickinson than women.  If you come to Dickinson, you will see that there is a shortage of women.  For most people, this is an additional unpleasant thing about Dickinson, in addition to seven months of cold grey weather, lack of places to shop, lack of entertainment, lack of things to do, over zealous DUI citations, and the fact that Dickinson residents and your co-workers from Dickinson do not like people from out of state.

Day after day after day in Dickinson, I go to the gas station, to work, to the grocery store, to the hardware store, to other stores, and I don’t see any pretty women.  It gets depressing.  I wonder to myself,”What has happened to the Earth?”  It is like I am stuck in some apocalyptic movie, living in some dreary, barren land, after some kind of devastating disaster.  It’s like I’m on some kind of prison planet.  I might as well be in prison, there are mostly men here, not any women.  The hardships in Dickinson, make me feel like I am living through the Great Depression, like I’m a refugee during a war, or that I have been put in prison for some kind of crime.  Like I said before, if you want to know what living in Dickinson will be like, you need to watch the movies “The Grapes of Wrath”, “Deliverance”, and “Planet of the Apes”.

One of the reasons why you don’t see many pretty women in Dickinson, is because, there aren’t very many.  When I lived in warm states like Florida, Texas, and Arizona, women were very concerned with how they looked, they were even competitive about it.  In states with warm climates, there are so many more opportunities to go out, for recreation, socializing, entertainment, business.  In warm states, people ride bikes, walk, jog, play tennis, play golf, surf, water ski, roller blade, swim, sun bathe.  In warm states, people go to movies, plays, concerts, cook outs, cruises, dinner parties, drinks after work.  In all of the aforementioned recreational and social activities in the warm states, the women are concerned with how they look.  They want to look good in their bathing suit, their golf outfit, their dinner dress, their party dress.  The women look forward to shopping for clothes and planning what they will wear.

Without trying to go too deep into the psychology of why women do what they do, in warm states, women want to look good, they try to look good.  The women enjoy getting attention from men, they enjoy getting noticed.  The women enjoy getting admired for their jewelry and clothing.  Women in warm states read “Vogue”, “Vanity Fair”, “Cosmopolitan”, and “People”, in order to see what clothes other women are wearing, what accessories they have, how they are wearing their hair.  In warm states, women go to the gym, exercise, diet, pay attention to what they are eating, in order to maintain and improve their appearance.

One of the reasons why women are competitive about how they look in the warm states, is because there are about equal numbers of men and women.  The women would like to be able to get the boyfriend or the husband that they want, but there is competition for the better males.  In order to be able to get one of the better males, each woman has to try to be more attractive than the other women who are seeking his attention.

In Dickinson, most of the women do not ride bikes, jog, play tennis, play golf, roller blade, swim, or water ski.  It is too cold to do outdoor activities for seven months of the year.  In Dickinson, most of the women do not go to plays, dinner parties, or drinks after work.  What I am saying is, most of the women in Dickinson do not exercise, they do not go out, they do not have any place to go, therefore, they do not care how they look, they do not care very much about what they wear, and rather than being competitive about looking good, I actually think that they are competitive about looking bad.

In Dickinson, I think that the women that are from here, try to look bad.  One possible reason why women from Dickinson try to look bad, is so that they will be left alone by the men.  There is nothing to do in Dickinson, and nowhere to go, what is the use in a woman looking good in Dickinson, it’s not like she’s looking forward to getting asked out on a date, there is nowhere to go.  Why would they want to look attractive?  They are not really looking forward to some guy in Dickinson trying to mount them.  As far as women being in competition with other women for the better males, I can just hear some woman from Dickinson in her North Dakota accent saying, “I don’t want him, you can have him,…no you can have him,….no, you can have him.”

A second reason why women in Dickinson try to look bad, is to get along with other women and to have solidarity with other women.  All of the women have decided that they are going to be anywhere from thirty pounds to one hundred pounds over weight.  If all the women do this, the men won’t really know the difference.  So when the men in Dickinson see big overweight women, with baggy loose clothing, and unkempt hair, the men think nothing of it, because that is what they are used to seeing.  The buffalo are big, the cows are big, the women are big.