July 2015 Update for Dickinson, North Dakota

Hello everyone.  I have not written any posts for this blog for a little over two months.  I have had many ups and downs here in Dickinson in the past two months, work related, women related, housing related.

Please, if you are considering coming to Dickinson at this time, don’t.  Many, many people here are wanting to leave, including myself, but we can’t because we don’t have enough money to leave.  Even though it is the peak of the work season, this is about the least amount of cash-on-hand that I have had in the past twenty years.  I am almost a pay-check-to-pay-check person now, though I have never been before at any time in my life, thank you Dickinson.

I tried to remain calm here in Dickinson as the work has gone away since about December of 2014, waiting for things to sort themself out.  I remained as manager of a small company because I liked the owner, I liked the company, and I liked the work, but my pay went down and down.  I held off, but finally accepted a job at a competitor company which had much more work, but found out within a couple of days that the company was one of the sleaziest places that I had ever worked.  I soon realized that they had more work because they were slightly lower in price, but were greatly lower, vastly lower in the skill level of their personnel, and their ethics were that of the worst-of-the-worst, bottom-of-the-barrel car salesman.  So back to my previous employer I went, learning that not only do you have to be wary of strangers in Dickinson from out-of-state, who may stab you in a Wal-Mart parking lot, but Jesus, you have got to be even more careful about going to work for some of the companies operating here in Dickinson or you will get mugged, raped, and robbed by them.

People in Dickinson now, there are people like myself and others who would like to leave, but don’t have the money to leave.  But there are other people, maybe even myself, that are too stupid to know to leave.  The top income earners had been the young, able-bodied men who worked on the drill rigs, twelve hours per day, two weeks straight, then one week off.  When the drill rigs shut down, these guys went home, they went someplace else, they left the state right then going about 80 miles per hour.  Maybe I should have too, but I did not know what I would do for a living back in Idaho where I still have a house, I thought I would be better off here in Dickinson, but now I am more stuck than I was back in December, January, February.

As the oil field worker men left town, and it became Spring, then Summer, the women came out of their holes and began to move about.  Women began letting me get close enough to them to talk to them and pet them, though you still have to be careful about what you say, so that they don’t start squealing,”That guy is bothering me!, that guy right there!”, also, don’t try to pet them, I said that they let me get close enough to pet them.  Anyway, they keep asking me,”Do you like Dickinson?”  What they are trying to figure out, is if you are going to stay.  What they are trying to figure out, is if you just want to have fun/sex with a girl/woman while you are here, like it doesn’t really mean anything to you, and then you are just going to leave, maybe when they just start to really like you, maybe when they become pregnant, maybe when they are making plans to marry you, are you going to do that, just leave one day?  I am not handsome enough for women to want to have sex with me just because I am so handsome.  For some women, there are guys that are so handsome, they will have sex with him just to not miss the opportunity.  But that’s not me.  Women will consider having sex with me because I am clean, healthy, polite, and have potential in their minds, in some ways, but they have to have more reason than that.  Getting off the track slightly, a sufficient additional reason might be that they are mad at their boyfriend or they are drunk.  Getting back on track with my point, even if women in Dickinson like you or find you attractive, they don’t want to date you or have sex with you unless you tell them that you like Dickinson, meaning that you are willing to stay here, meaning that you potentially would want to marry them.

Having lived in Dickinson for three years now, and having met more women this summer than ever before, because so many men have moved away, the women will let me talk to them now, I got a lot more insight and have more of an understanding of women in Dickinson now.  Most of the people from Dickinson are Catholic, most of the women in Dickinson are Catholic.  Most of the women in Dickinson have a view of life where they want to be married, have multiple children, and have a husband that takes care of them and their children.  In their view, it would be a good idea to get the best possible husband, one who is tall and handsome, one who has good earning potential.  If they spot a guy like this, they had better try to get him quick before some other girl in Dickinson does, because there is only a limited selection in Dickinson, if you don’t get a good guy right away, just look at what you will have to pick from, guys that none of the other women in Dickinson wanted! For the women in Dickinson, if the guy doesn’t want to marry them, the women have to drop this guy right away and try to hurry up and find some other guy they like, who does want to marry them.

I don’t look at dating this way.  I meet young women who are appealing because they are healthy, in shape, have a lot of energy, and are friendly.  I would like to go ride bikes, hiking, or canoeing with these young women.  I meet women who are older than me, who are knowledgeable about law, business, art, architecture, and history.  I would like to talk with these older women.  My point is this: I don’t demand, require, or expect that any woman meet a list of qualifications for me to like them or date them.  Also, I don’t mind if they want to date for a week, a month, a year.  I couldn’t say if I would want to marry them unless I knew them very, very well, and even then I realize that I could be mistaken about what the woman is really like.  So, in short, I don’t ask women out with the expectation or desire that this will culminate in marriage.  I like women, I like being with women, so it is enough in itself just to have the company of a woman I like.  I don’t have to “own” her and “control” her, shouldn’t she be able to do what she wants, when she wants?  I can kind of see why women want to get married, and I would agree to get married if I could see the marriage working out, but I don’t have the same policy/procedure as women in Dickinson regarding dating, that is to only date people who have the intention of marrying them.

I could be mistaken, but elsewhere I believe that there are women who want to date men because they enjoy their company, they are physically attracted to them, they share common interests and opinions, they enjoy going places and being together, yet the woman does not want someone telling her what to do and when to do it, she wants her own house, her own furniture, her own pets, and her own car without having to compromise or get agreement from someone else.  In Dickinson, women want to make sure up front that you want to get married, have kids, provide for them, and every aspect of your life will be geared to accommodating your wife and children, until you die.  So women in Dickinson will try to find out right away if you plan on staying in Dickinson, if you don’t plan on staying in Dickinson, then you probably don’t have the intention of marrying them, and they don’t want to waste their time dating you.

 

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