About six weeks ago in Dickinson, North Dakota, I stopped at a business that I have been going to for the past five years. This time, there was young lady working there, who I had never met or seen before. She was so friendly and nice to me, that I couldn’t believe this was happening.
I said to her, “You are so nice and friendly, that you must not be from Dickinson, where are you from?” She said, “Dickinson, I am from Dickinson, but I know what you mean.”
She continued to smile, smirk, and act silly a little bit. I liked her very much. In order to not be rude, too forward, or inappropriate, I asked her just one more question, which I don’t even remember what I asked her, but her answer was that she was going away to school in August, and she told me where.
I would have liked to have asked her one hundred questions. I mostly wanted to know how and why I had never met her, seen her, or heard about her before. I had so many thoughts in my head, I wished that I would have met her a long time ago.
Even just seeing her and talking to her briefly every few days, and looking forward to seeing her, would have cheered me up very much. Living in Dickinson, for me, is like being in prison. The people in Dickinson are so mean, nasty, unfriendly, uncooperative, unhelpful, scheming, and undermining. The women in Dickinson, are fat, overweight, unattractive, glaring, scowling, sneering, snarling, and leering.
I couldn’t believe that this young lady was from Dickinson, but anomalies like this happen sometimes, like Marinna Marsh for instance. Like Marinna, who is married, I thought that it would be best for me to stay away from this nice, friendly, attractive young lady. I didn’t want to bother her, make her unhappy, or make her uncomfortable.
I deliberately tried to stay away from this business, because I didn’t want to see this young lady again. It would be too much for me, being reminded that there is someone like this not far away, but that I couldn’t go see her, for so many reasons. As much as I liked her, I would probably never be able to have a relationship with her, of any kind, because I am nearly 50 years old.
I don’t feel like I am 50. It is like I don’t know. I feel more like I am about 8, or 20, I don’t know. I do feel more tired than I have ever felt before, more weak, and I have more health problems, which make me feel like I am going to die soon, so I must be old.
On Monday, August 27, I had to go to this business again, and I thought that this young lady would be away at school by now, that she wouldn’t be there. She was there, acting as silly, nice, and friendly as ever. I was trying not to smirk or smile the slightest bit, but I was failing, and she started to smile, so I tried not to look at her. I told her that I remembered talking to her before, and I asked her one question. She answered, then scooted away.
I would have liked to have asked her, what her name was. I would have liked to have been able to say more to her. I wished that I would have met her sooner, I wished that she was not leaving. I hoped that I didn’t make her uncomfortable. I really had not expected her to be there. I didn’t get the chance to say anything else to her, which was for the best, because it probably would have made her irritated or angry, I thought.
After I left, I tried to put myself in her position, to try to understand how she perceives things, what she wants, and what she thinks. I vowed that I would not go back to this business until she was gone. She told me that she was leaving Friday.
On Tuesday, I knew all day long that I was not going back to this business, that is what I promised, right? I intentionally went to another business, to make sure not to go anywhere near her. But, at this other business, there was an unexpected problem, where I could not get what I came there for. I said to myself, “Fuck it, I am just going to go there, even if it makes her mad. I will just get yelled at for bothering her, and I won’t say anything as I am waiting for the thing that I came for, that would just make everything worse.”
When I walked in, she was there, and she greeted me by name very happily and friendly, as if she was glad to see me, and was expecting me. I just said, hello, and I didn’t ask any questions of her. She continued to be very friendly, nice, smiling, and silly acting with me for a little bit, and then she went away. I learned her name, and then everything made more sense for me.
Two years ago, I wrote a series of three blog posts titled, “Bohemians, Romanians, Gypsies, and Reincarnation in Dickinson, North Dakota”. What had been the main inspiration for me to write these three blog posts two years ago, was this young lady’s relative, named “Emily”.
Though I never mentioned “Emily” by name in these three blog posts about “Bohemians”, Emily was one of the main causes for me to look up, read, and learn about the Bohemians that settled near Dickinson, North Dakota in the late 1800s. Unlike everybody else in Dickinson, Emily was always very nice and friendly to me. Emily was attractive, fun, funny, affectionate, and outgoing, and was nice to almost everyone, including people who were not from Dickinson.
I did mention in these three blog posts from two years ago about Bohemians, that Emily did have a very unusual last name which is found no where else in the United States, and that I wished I could tell it, it was so unique. I will tell it now, it is “Zastoupil”, and this young lady that I am writing about in this blog post, has this same last name. Yup, she is Bohemian, just like Emily, and Marinna Marsh.
I am not going to look at her Facebook page until she gets settled into her Fall semester at school, so that she isn’t too stressed out when she sees notification that I looked at her Facebook page. But I did look at her Twitter tweets, which answer about fifty of the questions that I had wanted to ask her.