Looking Up And Spying On Old Girlfriends

Through a strange course of events, I ended up spending the last ten years of my life in western North Dakota. This has been a very unpleasant and difficult time in my life, very nearly the same as if I had spent this time in prison, for a crime that I did not commit.

But I guess you learn a lot about life and about yourself while being locked up in prison, that you might otherwise have never been forced to consider.

President Theodore Roosevelt spent several years of his life in western North Dakota, which he later reflected on, “I have always said I would not have been President had it not been for my experience in North Dakota.” Most people don’t know that this is one of those double-meaning comments, almost a backhanded compliment. But after living here, I know exactly what he is talking about. It’s very trying living here, it’s something that you endure.

During the North Dakota oil boom 2007-2015 the ratio of men to women in Dickinson was 3:1. Magically, to this day, it’s still about 3:1. The women who are here are very rough, and that’s putting it mildly, that’s an understatement.

No matter where I had lived previously, I always had at least several romantic prospects: a woman who worked at the grocery store; a woman who worked at the Radio Shack store; a girl who worked at the Mexican restaurant; a girl who worked at the gym; a woman who worked at the other gym; a waitress; the two women who bothered me when I went fishing:

When I was fishing on a floating dock on the Snake River in Idaho, a women who was about 36, and her daughter who was about 16, would come and sit about eight feet from me, with their legs hanging in the water. They would chat for a few minutes, and then unbutton their very short cut-off jean shorts. Then, unzip their very short cut-off jean shorts, revealing their underwear, and lean back on their arms, so that I could look and see.

You can imagine what I was thinking, when next they completely removed their very short cut-off jean shorts. It took me about ten seconds to realize that they were wearing Bikini bottoms.  I started laughing, what!, awww!, and they laughed too.  From then on, they stopped, and did something like this, whenever I was fishing on the floating dock, until I had to leave Idaho to go work in North Dakota.

The romantic prospects that I was referring to, it was a very enjoyable part of life to visit women who made you feel lust, desire, excitement, to look them over, and feel something, and for them to respond with irritation or tolerance, encouragement or discouragement, friendliness or unfriendliness, and to sometimes surprise you with what they said or did next.  But there are almost no women like this in western North Dakota, it’s more like being in prison, in just about every way.

I have learned that for someone like myself, in western North Dakota, it is better to just stay home than try to go anywhere or do anything.  The Police here are like guards in a prison, they feel like they have to stop, hassle, question, and try to put charges on everyone, even if they are just coming home from Walmart with groceries.  Any public place, with a mostly male, below blue-collar level population, with no women, being treated like prison inmates, there is mostly anger.

I spend perhaps too much time on the internet, but it’s better than leaving home, considering where I live, and what’s out there, the Police prison guards, angry men, and jack-o-lantern women.   The internet is my way of travelling some other place.

A couple of weeks ago, I looked up a woman who I dated in my final years of college in Florida.  I will refer to her as “M”.  When I was in high school, “M” was an art teacher at my high school, she was ten years older than me.  She went back to college to get her Master degree, when I was completing my engineering degree.

“M” was very attractive.  She was about 5′-7″, 125 lb, blond hair, pale flawless skin, thin, large-breasted.  At that time, she was the most free in having sex with me, of any woman I had ever met.  I would have sex with her, until I couldn’t move.  That semester, was the best grades that I ever made in engineering college, I was happy, and could always have sex.

“M” brought up the subject of marriage, to see if I was interested, not pressuring me at all, very casual.  I was not ready to get married, “M” was not everything that I wanted, I thought that I would find someone better, someone that I would be in love with.  “M” graduated before I did, and she did not keep in touch.

As the years have gone by, especially now, I have begun to realize more and more what an agreeable and pleasant person that “M” was, in addition to her physical beauty, and her appetite for sex.  If I could ever be stuck in a marriage, that would be an excellent marriage to be stuck in.  “M” didn’t fight, she didn’t complain, she wasn’t judgmental, and she wasn’t demanding.

Part of the reason why “M” was so pleasant and easy-going, was because her parents were very, very wealthy.  They owned about four very nice homes, where they vacationed at different times of the year.  Her parents were very calm and gentle with her, didn’t expect or require anything of her, allowed her to do what she wanted.

When I looked “M” up a couple of weeks ago, I found that she was living on Massachusetts Bay, about ten miles from the city of Boston.  I didn’t know that not far from Boston, that there are small islands and peninsulas that are a couple hundred feet wide, with houses on them.  “M”s two-story house was right on the water, with a very large swimming pool overlooking the bay outside of Boston.

I never wanted to live in a city like Boston, but Boston has some of the oldest architecture, oldest Pubs, renowned restaurants, brightest and most educated people, incredible night-life.  But to live on an almost private island, with only a couple hundred people, ten miles from Boston, sign me up for this.

I looked up another girlfriend of mine from Florida, who I went to high school with, and some of college with, “D”.  “D” got her Master’s degree in Archeology at about the same time that I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in engineering.  I didn’t know that it took her another 6 years, until she was 31 years old, to get her PhD.  But now she is the head of the Archeology Department at a large university.

I looked up “V” who I went to college with, at a small private college in Virginia.  “V” got her Master’s degree in Political Science a little before I graduated from engineering college.  But I didn’t know that it took her another 7-8 years to get her PhD in Political Science when she was 31 years old.  She has been a professor at a small college in Pennsylvania for the past 20 years.

Lastly on this list today, I will mention “C”, who I went to high school with.  “C” went to a very famous and prestigious women’s college to obtain her Bachelor’s in English, then another prestigious college to obtain her Master’s degree.  She first became a well-known and acclaimed author before becoming an English professor at a small Ivy-League college.

“C” got married later in life, and had two children.  I thought that “C” would probably never marry, because she was very opinionated, argumentative, high-strung, and uncompromising.

“V” looks very good in her photograph.  Over the years when I looked up “V”, she has always maintained her good looks.  I thought that she had gotten married when she was in her late twenties or early thirties, but there is no mention of her husband now.

“D” looks very good in her photograph.  I think that she looks better now than she did in her teens and twenties.  I thought that “D” got married in her early thirties, but it would not surprise me at all if her husband was done and gone.  “D” is probably very attractive to her male students, which I doubt she discourages the slightest bit.

“M” it appears never got married, and I am very happy for her.  “M” had been very in-love with a teacher at our high school, when she was an art teacher there.  When this teacher proposed to “M” when she was about 24 years old, she didn’t want to be married, because he wanted to finish his career at this high school.  When “M” told him “no”, he began dating and soon married another teacher.  “M” was heartbroken, and she realized that she had made the mistake of her life.  She left this high school, and went back to college to get her Master’s degree in Art, mostly because of him dating and proposing to her, and marrying another teacher at this school, she couldn’t bear it.

Do I want to have anything to do with these aforementioned women now?  No, not really, definitely not.  I feel like they would be too inquisitive, too suspicious, as if they had to determine what my status is, what my worth is.  Their scrutiny of me would be automatic.

I might possibly be able to give an accurate accounting of myself, but why would I?  Why would I go through the trouble of trying to explain myself, when I have nothing to gain from it?  Most likely it would be frustrating and upsetting trying to explain why I have done what I have done, and why I am the way that I am, in a way that would meet with their approval, ( “M” and “D”, the Art teacher and the Archeology professor, would be only slightly less judgmental. )

What I think is funny, is that in their life, having the “right house”,  in the “right neighborhood”, with the “right friends” is probably very important to them, whereas I see this as a kind of short-sighted vanity.  Or, demonstrating that I had a great deal of money would lead to a kind of almost instant acceptance.  What I value and enjoy, they would have difficulty seeing these things as I do.

I think that I am better off not saying anything to them.  Although I am tempted to prank them, just to be mean.

9 thoughts on “Looking Up And Spying On Old Girlfriends

  1. You could have converted to Islam where you are allowed up to four wives.
    And how about a spot of polygamy in the US?


    1. In reply to Imad al Din,

      I also could have tried to get a mail-order-bride from Venezuela, Thailand, Vietnam, or Belarus, and for a short while I might have enjoyed my wife. But soon my wife would want me to buy a larger house, would want to have children, would want me to make more money, would want whatever bed, jewelry, or vacation she saw on television that day, and would start having an affair with a neighbor, the FedEx or UPS deliveryman.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. MGTOW is the only way these days. I been married twice, divorced same. Dated many women over the years. Many just want a step in Daddy to raise their spawn and finance Mommy’s life style. No thanks. After my 2nd divorce, was together 11 years, no kids. Actually my wife was trying to get pregnant up until the time she bugged out. Financial reasons maybe ? Nah…. I started dating and shopping for a number 3 wife, I wanted kids before I was too old. Man O Man. 3 years of sifting through, money grubbers, whackos, women who just wanted a Fill In Dad, recovering addicts, women in debt up to their neck, and these were the good ones. I realized if I went through with this plan to re marry just to breed I was gonna ruin my sweet life I had built. Had my own house, paid off by age 35. I was a long haul trucker and made big money and used it wisely. After much thought I realized my “net worth would immediately be halved, then the life long money drain of a kid and most likely ex wife #3 Id be broke for sure , and have to work until I die. Nah. I look at my friends with their mostly pathetic under achieving kids and thank God I didnt go the same route. Every woman had the same vetting process with me. Some were slow and cautious about their curiosity. Inquiring about my work, trying to figure my money saved, house status, ex wives. Any kids from other relationships etc. They all want the same thing. A bank account and a lifestyle to make their girlfriends jealous. Yes they WILL Fuck around behind your back. I have screwed many of Happily married women in my day . Thats why I know to Never trust a woman. They care about themselves and ONLY themselves first, then their spawn. I dont hate women at all. I just know how to keep things in perspective. I am very stingy on the attention I pay to women. The women in my gym seem to crave my attention more , the more I ignore them. Go figure. My life is beyond Awesome. I sold my house and live in a class B Roadtrek camper van. Im static, not a nomad. I stay local where I owned my house. My parents are mid 80s, I want to stay close . Im self employed, work as little or as much as I want and no debt. If I had that anchor around my neck, Id be hating life just like my married friends. Sorry for the long rant . I feel real sorry for the younger guys these days. They have no clue what a real woman should be. These guys have to settle for a Skank thats Fucked the whole neighborhood, already has a kid or 2, a dope habit or recovering junkie, no morals, on welfare and proud of it. BTW, an old post of yours, you mentioned about Monkey gripping or Monkey vine. Spot on. I have witnessed it many times over the years, first hand of close friends, etc. Never knew the term for it. But its real and women readily admit and speak of it among themselves. I actually overheard a conversation in my gym between two women that were advising a younger 20 something to do this. The young woman had a proposal from her current boyfriend but she didnt want him for a husband. The 2 older women were telling her of a 5 year marrage plan to advance herself. So yeah. whenever I have a woman Im aeeimg and I start telling myself, she’s different, she’s not a digger. I force myself to back up and regroup. She’s no different, she’s just shooting her line of Shit better then most .
        Annapolis Md U.S.A ,

        The land of upper class married women having sex with Naval Academy Cadets while hubby is working. LOL


      2. In reply to Ray K,

        Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it when readers who want to say something take the time and make the effort to explain what they mean and elaborate on what they mean.

        Concerning MGTOW, I can watch “Hammer Hand” and “RPM” fairly often on YouTube, probably because they are about my age, and they are both truck drivers. Because these two guys are truck drivers, they deal and interact with many of the same kinds of people and situations that I deal with. My views and opinions are similar to their views and opinions.

        Sometimes for Hammer Hand and RPM, because of an emotional situation that they are in the middle of, they sometimes make a YouTube video that I don’t agree with, or feel that it makes them look bad, and I become alienated from them. But I guess that I do the same thing as them with some of my angry blog post articles.

        MGTOW “Better Bachelor” is way too conciliatory and compromising, as if he is afraid of angering women and being scolded by YouTube. “Better Bachelor” is almost part of the problem, because he will not take a hard, uncompromising stand, against everything that is wrong. Because of this, his manner of speaking, and the way that he seems to want to discuss everything, he comes across as a whimp, and effeminate.

        MGTOW “Sandman” has some insights, but he tries to be so witty, catty, and so much of a smart-ass, that he comes across as young, a whimp, and effeminate.

        Overall, whether it’s Hammer Hand, RPM, Coach Greg Adams, Hate Vicious, Undead Chronic, the comment section often times has the most wisdom, useful advice, and anecdotes.

        I don’t know what is going to happen. If you watch many, many MGTOW videos, and are able to remember the statistics and trends that are discussed that are based on facts, research, and real events, the facts are that in western countries the birth rate is declining and is the lowest that it has ever been; marriage rates are declining and are the lowest that they have ever been; the failure of first-time marriages is something like 60%-80%; DNA paternity tests are showing something like 30% of tests show that the “father” is not the biological father. All of these things and many other things point to a culmination and consolidation of hatred against women on the horizon, where there will be brutal violence and attacks on women world-wide. The kind of riots that are seen when dictators and regimes are overthrown, when colonies protest for independence, when there are race riots, when there are food shortages, but this time all of the anger and violence will be directed toward women.

        For the sake of being clear, so that women understand, world-wide there are some things that are becoming universally understood by everyone: Women are using relationships and marriage primarily for financial gain, there are no emotional or family bonds; women insist that they are physically, mentally, and emotionally equal to men, and therefore should receive the same employment and pay, however in contradiction to this, women want favoritism in hiring, set-asides in contracting, lessened physical requirements, being spared from hard work, being spared from harsh conditions, being spared from dangerous work, being spared from emotionally taxing situations; women wear make-up, jewelry, high-heels, short skirts, breast revealing clothing, breast implants, lip injections, and then complain and file legal complaints that men are looking at them or paying attention to them; women behave and dress in a manner specifically to be sexually appealing and use their sexuality in attempts to gain personal advantage, and then file legal complaints that they have been sexually harassed; women make false claims of paternity for financial gain; women make false claims of rape, assault, sexual assault, and harassment for financial gain, revenge, to ruin men’s careers, and due to mental illness; women now claim that they are strong and independent, yet still want financial support from their father, boyfriend, or husband; women now claim that they are strong and independent, yet they still want hard work, physical labor, dangerous work, physical protection from male bystanders, their father, their boyfriend, or their husband.

        So, universally, world-wide, people now understand that you can’t trust women, and they don’t like women.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ive never watched any MGTOWs on YouTube but I have read some pages on reddit. I need no outside prompting or advise from these people, I already had these thoughts before the inception of MGTOW. Unfortunately for me, Im very keen on human behavior. Sometimes Id like to be as dumb as the rest of the world. Sure would keep me in a better mood. I believe the old phrase is ” No Brains, No Headaches ” But I cant stop dealing in truth and reality. I already knew those stats you posted about birth rate and the current awakening of men everywhere about the truth of womens behavior. I think maybe you and I read Andrew’s website. I wont post the site. If you know it , then you know why Im not posting it.
    I can only sum our situation up in these words. WE ARE FUCKED. There is NO taking this country back. Anyone who believes in Trump for 2024, or a Republican sweep in 22′ is in fantasy land. The GOP is completly corrupt and usless, The big plan is in full swing. Wide open borders, corrupt voting systems, systematic corruption from local judges all the way to Supreme Court. The chemical attack on us in the form of Heroin, Fentanyl and prescription drugs is not an accident. This is by Design to destroy our society. I believe the drugs of the 1960s hippy dippy years was just a trial run. The feminization of our young men is no accident. It attacks our National Defense readiness by turning our draft age young men into skirt wearing sissies. But to any that reads this. If you’re not already a prepper, start now, and dont brag about it, just do it. Get yourself in good physical condition. Get strong . Be ready to fight anywhere you go. Dont walk around looking for it, but be very Aware of your surroundings and learn to make eye contact and to read body language. Be ready for the unexpected. Things are going to happen very quickly. Just remember, society breaks down in less the 72 hours. Recent examples, Katrina, Super storm Sandy , CT.NJ. NY. All hell broke loose. This hoax of a planned- demic is not over. They have act 3 ready and written. There will be another variant and another more severe shut down. This last election wasn’t just stolen, it was a coup. They didn’tjust want a Democrat, they want to have a 3rd term of Obama. Finish what he and Soros started. A national police force, the Brown shirts, the Browning of America, Obama’s actual words , the redistribution of wealth and on and on. We ARE a 3rd world county at this time. Our economy has collapsed . We just have the ability to print more money and park it . Every major city in this country is a shooting gallery, and many many small towns are as bad. Someone please tell me Im wrong. I dont want us to be a 3rd world country riddled with Cartels and a failed society. Like I stated, I deal with truth, not ignorant bliss. Have a nice day. LOL.
    Annapolis Md U.S.A,
    The Breeding grounds for Corruption
    and Welfare.


    1. In reply to Ray K,

      The MGTOW YouTube channels that I mentioned, Hammer Hand, RPM, Coach Greg Adams, Better Bachelor, Sandman, Undead Chronic, …..these content creators don’t always have insightful, helpful advice, but they sometimes do, sometimes they discuss something that is new information, a new study, a new statistic, a new law, a reformed law.

      Reading through the comment section of the MGTOW channels, there is sometimes good, useful information.

      I left out a MGTOW YouTuber who used to have good advice and good stories, Terrance Popp. Terrance Popp grew up in Michigan under a single mother that undermined him, he never was good at anything in high school. He joined the Army, after completing basic training he did well enough to go to Army Ranger school. He did well enough as an Army Ranger to be an applicant to Green Beret school, 6,000 apply each enrollment, 600 are allowed to attend, 30 finish training and become a Green Beret, he made it.

      Terrence Popp had some good training, preparation, strategy, tactics, practical knowledge & practical experience, to give useful advice.

      I imagine that you have already read the two books, “The Turner Diaries” and “Molen Labe, Come And Take Them”, which were first published in the 1980s. These two books are not identical, they are quite different, but each of these books revolve around the “fictional” stories of individual citizens’ constitutional rights being violated, at the same time that there is growing anti-firearm legislation and action, a growth in Political Correctness, a rise in what started out as Democrat politics but morphed into Socialism/Communism.

      If you are going to get flagged by the NSA and the FBI for downloading “The Turner Diaries” and “Molen Labe”, you might as well read “The Anarchist’s Handbook”. I think that a person might get into more trouble downloading “The Anarchist’s Handbook” because it explains how to make explosive and incendiary devices using common components that used to be found in retail stores, grocery stores, hardware stores, cleaning supply stores etc.

      Back in the 1980s, not only were “The Turner Diaries” and “Molen Labe” published, but people like retired Air Force veteran Art Bell, and retired Navy veteran William Cooper were beginning their alternative/late-night AM radio talk shows where they were discussing “things the government doesn’t want you to know”.

      William Cooper himself, or Art Bell via his talk show guests, would discuss little-known or unknown CIA and FBI programs of helping to overthrow leaders in various countries around the World, false-flag incidents that were created by the U.S. government to give the U.S. the excuse to go to war, U.S. government participation in the importation of illegal narcotics for various purposes, U.S. government and military experiments using U.S. citizens and troops as guinea-pigs in testing infectious diseases, chemical weapons, biological weapons, drugs, psychological manipulation, effects of different spectrums of electromagnetic energy on humans, etc.

      My point is, that besides the authors of “Brave New World”, “1984”, “Fahrenheit 451”, the authors of “The Turner Diaries” and “Molen Labe”, there were people like Art Bell and William Cooper who had tried to make the public wake up in the 1980s-1990s.

      Maybe the MGTOW people are what we have now in 2021, predicting the future.


    1. In reply to Rusty Shackleford,

      It’s worse than that, wasting money, time, and resources are just tools that women use to cause misery, suffering, chaos, destruction, and ruin.

      Here is another way to put it, it’s not that women enjoy wasting money, time, and resources themselves, it’s that women enjoy that men had to work long hours to earn and accumulate money and resources, and now they get to tear-down, destroy, and ruin what men worked for, and cause men misery and suffering at losing their money, time, and resources.

      Engagement rings, weddings, wedding receptions, and honey moons are good examples of how women like to waste money and resources. It’s not so much that they enjoy these things, or wasting money itself, it’s the thought that some man will have spent years of his life working to pay for something that will last a day, and they get to shit on him.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. just think about good old Daddy that pays for that wedding and reception. He has to pretend its a happy event, go along with all the phoney behavior because of peer pressure . Then again, its actually a happy day for Daddy. He is passing on this never ending drain on his money and resources to some other poor dumb **”simp” . This poor dumb “simp” is about to ruin the rest of his life, by takinig on the burden of a brand new full grown dependent with obnoxious child like behavior. This full grown child is probably in her late 20s , but mentally her level is that of a 15 year old and will never mature any further then this point.
        Daddy will not warn the young man of his pending doom. Daddy wants his own life back. So Daddy desperately wants this marrage to succeed, nothing worse then the full grown child separating from her “simp” and running back “home ” to continue living off Daddy, often times with a young child to occupy Grand mom and Pop Pops free time with babysitting duties . Fast foward 18 months. The newly separated young Mom is back home with infant child and feels this is not a burden on her own parents, but feels she is bringing joy to their lives with a grandchild full-time in their home. Poor dad. The plan didn’t work. Now Dad has to watch the daughter go on endless dates and girls nights out trying to find a replacement Daddy ( simp extraordinaire) to step in and take on her baggage and provide a lifestyle that she finds acceptable, because she’s entitled to live high off of the mans sweat and future earnings, after all, she has a Vagina and this makes her “special “. Dad is losing hope after a few years, knows she’s never leaving . Dad takes a second mortgage and builds an apartment style addition on his house. I have witnessed this scenario with in my circle of married friends. It also applies to those little skanks that never bothered to get married, just intentionally got pregnant for the state benefits. Poor old Daddy, as if a whore of a daughter breeding out of wedlock isnt enough, often times around here, the skank is spitting out mixed race mud babies. Yep, make your Daddy proud girls. Daddy can’t criticize, if he does and the daughter makes aFace crook [sic] post about Daddy being a racist, BOOM, Daddy is now terminated from his corporate job. Because the mere accusation of a racist thought is now punishable by Death. All I can do is shake my head in disappointment with the understanding we have lost .
        Note, Im actually a happy person in my day to day life, I just like to point out these observations since its no one else has the balls to speak truth anymore. I spend my time making observations where ever I am.
        A few interesting notes on some observations.
        I use to sit in McDonald’s in the early morning on week days and have coffee before heading to work myself.
        I noticed an inordinate amount of women coming in only to use the rest room. I find this curious. They just left the house and are heading to work, according to time of day and how their dressed. I noted how long these women were in the rest room. I deduced from amount of time, it wasn’t just for a pee pee. I point out that these rest rooms arent a place where a woman would want to spend time putting on make up or chatting with other women. These are basically a one person occupancy rest room. So I noticed some women were visitors several days a week. Not making any purchase, just stop in and take a dump and leave. Im fascinated by this behavior. Why would a person do this. These women are well dressed and driving nice cars. Obviously not homeless on the street. Are they afraid to crap at home when hubby is there ? Fascinating.
        Thanks for letting me post my wandering thoughts in your comment section.

        Quora, **A simp in the MGTOW context means a beta male, a so-called blue pill. A man who is still under the illusion that society has fed him regarding women. These are the guys who are still looking for their one true love (unicorn), take women at face value, and are all too happy to “throw another man under the bus” to increase his chances of sex or relationship with a woman, or to defend her honor (in an attempt to increase his chances of sex or relationship with women).

        Those guys that women complain about being nice and acting good to get into their pants; This is them.
        Annapolis Maryland
        Formerly, U.S.A.


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