Should North Dakota Representative Luke Simons have hired a 1%er motorcycle gang instead of an attorney?

In 2012 I went to work in the oil field of west Texas for a short while. When I got off of work in the evenings I went to a restaurant bar in Crystal City called Miguelitos. Several nights a week I would see and talk to a couple of older men who were friends, one was a heavy equipment operator who had just come back from Kuwait, and the other was a Sergeant-At-Arms for a 1%er motorcycle gang.

For those of you who don’t know, the 1%er motorcycle gangs are the Hells Angels, Outlaws, and the Bandidos. The internet lists a few additional 1%er motorcycle gangs. Why some of these are listed now as “clubs”, I don’t know.

Back in 2010-2013 after the real estate market crash, the “housing bubble” bust, there were many newspaper stories about strangers moving into people’s vacant houses, and refusing to leave. Very often, when the Police were called to get these uninvited occupants out of other people’s houses, they would claim to either have a rental agreement or a purchase agreement with someone, which would cause the Police to throw up their hands saying, “There is nothing we can do, this is a civil matter, you are going to have to take them to court.”

Since I had to leave my house in Idaho in 2011 to work in North Dakota, and then go to work in Texas in 2012, I was worried that some “squatters” were going to move into my house back in Idaho, and I wouldn’t be able to get them out. Once the Police make the mistake of not handling these cases like a straight up “breaking & entering” and “trespassing”, and instead say “This is a civil matter”, the homeowner then has to hire an attorney, wait for court dates and proceedings, because the squatters are being treated like tenants with legal rights.

I was discussing these types of legal cases with my two older friends one night while eating at Miguelitos, and the Sergeant-At-Arms told me a story. There was an acquaintance of his that had inherited a large house, that was divided into several rental units. The tenants were a bunch of trash who wouldn’t pay the rent, and they wouldn’t leave. The owner had hired an attorney, paid him several thousand dollars, gone to court, but they couldn’t get these people out of this house.

As a favor, the 1%er motorcycle gang offered to get these people to leave, if the owner wanted. When they showed up, he said, “Man, there was people jumping out the windows to get away.” Literally, there were people jumping out of the windows to get away. It was no longer a matter of asking anyone to leave, they were trying to get away.

I thought about this, and I remembered this. If you ever want something to get done, and the Police won’t do anything, a lawyer can’t do anything, and the courts don’t work, see if a 1%er motorcycle gang can help. Why not just go to a 1%er gang in the first place?

If North Dakota Representative Luke Simons would have gone to a 1%er motorcycle gang for help, here is what might have happened:

ND House Of Representatives Majority Leader Chet Pollert’s wife Corine would have driven down to Luke’s house and apologized to him profusely for any misunderstanding.  She would be saying that Chet would have come himself, except for he was in the hospital after the chain came off his bicycle….

Inforum Communications reporter Rob Port would have switched to becoming a Sports Writer, choosing to not ever write about anything other than Sports, ever.

Inforum Communications would have published a nice, complimentary, in-depth article on Representative Luke Simons, explaining how unfortunate it was that Luke was so misunderstood.

Attorney Lynn Boughey would have uncovered a billing error and given Luke back a large amount of money.

Lastly, try to picture the look of surprise on Luke’s face, when Rep Emily O’Brien walked up to Luke, stood there, and said in a quiet voice, “Luke, I’m sorry for what happened.  From now on, I’ll wear whatever you tell me to wear.”