Bartender Women in Dickinson, North Dakota

In this post, I would have liked to have named the bar that I am writing about, but I can’t.  I suppose that what I write may be applicable to many bars, in many places.  Young women, please don’t let this happen to you.

I have written in this blog many times that it is very dangerous to go out to bars in Dickinson at night because the police in Dickinson are overly eager to arrest people for DUI.  I try not to go to bars, especially in Dickinson.  Sometimes, like when my room mate has been drinking and is talking to himself like a crazy person,  I want to go some place else.  I don’t want to drink, but if you don’t want to go to the movies, or go to the West River Community Center, the only place you can go for a couple of hours at night in Dickinson is a bar.

In December, the bar that I decided to go to, I had not been there for about a year.  It has a restaurant associated with it, so this narrows it down to about four possibilities in Dickinson.  In the past, I had met some people that I became friends with in the restaurant.  One of the waitresses who no longer works there, she is very pretty and funny, and I see her about once every two months somewhere in town, she is always nice to me and we always talk.  Some other waitresses that have worked there have been very nice and friendly to me.  Usually, the waitresses in the restaurant are too young to work as bartenders.

After having not been in this bar for about a year, I went into the bar.  I was shocked that a bartender woman, who I will call “Cuddles”, was working there.  I had first met Cuddles in the fall of 2011 when she was a bartender at this bar.  I had told her that I really liked her, and I did.  I had a shitty construction job at that time, it was more dangerous and screwed up than most construction jobs, and I thought about Cuddles all day at work, and looked forward to seeing her after work.  After work, when I got to the bar, I would say hello to her, and go sit down and behave.  When nobody was around, I would ask if I could talk to her and she would say, “No, I don’t want to talk to you.”

Cuddles knew that I liked her, because I had told her.  Unwisely, she started to kind of antagonize and taunt me.  When she did, I became angry.  Not admitting any guilt, not admitting any involvement, must have been just a coincidence, the building lost electrical power.  For a time after that, Cuddles didn’t screw with me.

About a month later, Cuddles started taunting me again.  There was a guy that would come into the bar, and start joking with Cuddles.  She would stand there and let him pull her shirt neck down and open, let him play with her breasts, in front of me.  I asked him if he was her boyfriend, he said he was not, why did I ask.  I said that I liked her a lot, that if he was her boyfriend, I would leave her alone.  He said he was not her boyfriend.  I said,”I am letting you know, that I like her, a lot.”  About a week later, the same thing happened with the same guy, when I was sitting there.  I had had enough.

I was angry about the shitty job that I had, I was angry about how shitty Dickinson was, I was angry about Cuddles and this guy disrespecting me.  Both of them knowing that they were making me mad, I had already warned the guy.  I went outside the bar, I drove my truck around to the other side of the parking lot where I could watch the door where this guy had entered, and I waited for this guy and his friends to come out.  When he and his friends came out of the bar, and walked to a truck, I pulled my truck in right behind them so they couldn’t leave.  I got out of my truck and started yelling at the guy, that I had already given him warning about what he was doing with Cuddles in front of me, so now it was time for him to get a beating.  The three of them were very surprised, scared, didn’t want to fight, and seemed to sense something was wrong.  They pleaded with me to let them go.  They were correct about something being wrong, I wasn’t going to lose that fight, for several different reasons which I am better off not naming.

I didn’t see those guys again.  Cuddles quit fucking with me.  That was 2011.

I left Dickinson in December of 2011.  I returned in May of 2013.  While I was away, working in a part of Texas that had even fewer women than Dickinson, I spent a lot of time after work on the internet.  I looked at Cuddles’ Facebook page, she was in a relationship with a guy I will call “Lucky”.   I believe that Cuddles had her first child by Lucky in 2012, and they became engaged.  Cuddles looked happy in her photos, though she had put on some weight.  I felt happy for her, and happy for me too.  I would not have wanted to have had children with Cuddles outside of marriage, not sure that I wanted to have children at all.  I also would not have been happy with the way she was putting on weight, so I was glad that she was with Lucky, not me.

I got back to Dickinson in May of 2013.  I went to the bar and saw Cuddles and said hello.  She was civil toward me.  She was still not married.  I could have misread her, but it seemed that she was happy to have one of her admirers back.  She was a little heavier, and now a mom.  I think that she missed not having as many guys propositioning her as she used to.  She was pregnant with her second child by Lucky.  They were still engaged.  I believe that they got married in August of 2013, and moved to eastern North Dakota.  I thought that this was good for both of them, and for their children, to get away from Dickinson.  Cuddles had been a little bit of a party girl, she was known for that, so it would be good for her to go someplace else and be a housewife and a mom.  Good, good riddance.

So it is now December of 2015, and I am going to the bar because my room mate is drunk and talking to himself. I walk into the bar, and here is Cuddles.  I wasn’t expecting to see her.  It was like 2011 all over again.  She was not as pretty as she had been four years ago.  She was just an average looking woman now.  I said,”Cuddles, I thought you had moved to eastern North Dakota.”  She said,”I did, I moved back six months ago.”  I complied with the rule established back in 2011, “She doesn’t want to talk to me.”, so I went and sat down and behaved.

I had not been in this bar for at least a year.  To my surprise, here was bartender “Morticia”.  I said to Morticia,”Did you move away too, or have you been here since 2011?”.  Morticia said that she had been here the whole time.  Then Cuddles and Morticia had to have a conference to decide what to do about me.  They didn’t do anything mean to me that night.

I came to the bar a few days later, different bartender women were working, they were nice looking, and were pleasant to me.  I came to the bar a few days later, Cuddles and Morticia were working.  The bar was not busy, I went and sat at the end of the bar, because I didn’t feel like talking to bar patrons.  Neither Cuddles nor Morticia were waiting on me, I thought, “Uh oh”.  Time went by, enough time for me to start thinking about what side of the building their electrical weatherhead was on, what rope I had in the back of my truck, what type of knot I was going to tie in the rope after I threw it over their power line and tied the other end to my trailer hitch.  “Come on Cuddles!, don’t you and Morticia start pulling this shit on me again, I don’t want to go to jail for pulling down your power line.”

I knew where the bar owner was sitting, “Ringo”.  I was thinking of going over to Ringo and saying,”If I am kicked out of the bar, let me know, otherwise can you get me a drink.”  I was mulling it over,”Did I want to get Cuddles and Morticia in trouble?  I would probably be kicked out, if in fact Cuddles and Morticia said that they really couldn’t deal with me being here, for some reason.”

Cuddles eventually walked by, after too much time had passed, and asked me if I wanted a drink.  Was this their way of telling me that I was not wanted there?  Were they just fucking with me?  I was feeling angry mostly because they were making me mad enough, to where I was going to do something to retaliate, and end up in trouble.  Why are they giving me a hard time?

When I got home, I looked at Cuddles’ Facebook page, and Morticia’s Facebook page.  I got the full name of Cuddles’ husband, Lucky, and put him into my background check service.  I am very experienced in running background checks, and it was very nearly 100% clear that Lucky went back to the state where he came from, far far away, he was gone.  Huh, no wonder Cuddles is being mean to me, the father of her two kids, has left and gone away.  I guess she is just plain mad.

I put Morticia in my background check service.  I did not know that she had been married before.  After her first marriage ended, she moved to Dickinson.  Morticia had a kid about a year ago.  Let’s see who the father is.  Oh man, this guy is a loser, no accounts, no bills, no utilities ever in his name, looks like no current job, looks like he never moved out of his mom’s house here in Dickinson.  No wonder Morticia is being a bitch to me, I think that she’s just plain angry too.

I thought about Cuddles and Morticia differently, once I realized that they both had had kids by guys that were no longer with them.  Although I believe that both of their guys were not very good people to begin with, I wondered,”Did Cuddles and Morticia act so bitchy that both of those guys didn’t want to be around? I think so.”  I was grateful that I had never been in an intimate relationship with Cuddles or Morticia, both of them had gotten pregnant outside of marriage, and I would not have wanted to have gotten either of them pregnant.

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